Madness in Japan

As the inevitable day approaches when I am finally appointed King of the Universe (although I must admit that the joyous day has been coming a tad too slow for my liking), I looked back at the various complex questions which has flummoxed the greatest minds of our time.

a) Why am I here? (This one easy, to make life difficult for LV lovers)

b) Could we create computer with human intelligence? (Already here, Microsoft XP which has the irritating paper clip which asks stupid questions and like to hide when you really need help. How much more human could it be? Anything more human, it will write my reports, drink beer with me and cook a steak - medium well and no bullshit tobasco sauce, please)

c) Can the laws of physics e.g. gravity, electromagnetism and particle mechanics be unified into a theory? (I will unify them when I am free)

d) Is there a Santa Claus? i.e a fat man who decided that he should spend his Xmas away from his fat wife (and who could blame him), hang out with cute elves and disturb everybody by dropping down through the chimneys, steal cookies and milk, sniff other people's socks, sieve through the locals' porn collection and leave a half eaten candy in some kid's sock. (You think?)

e) Darren "can't even pass the ball 2 metres but made a brilliant 100 yards pass . . . to the opposition" Fletcher. Why? (Man, even I in all my greatness, have no answers for this man)

f) Why would a Singaporean girl stand in the middle of Orchard Road and snap pictures? (Oh yeah, I am talking to you. Yes, you vanilla at the back. Siao ah. This was how dodo birds got extinct. They just stand in the way of the approaching comet saying "ooh . . .pretty lights" when the mastodons were running for the hills).

But even with my considerable intellect, and lets admit it - I am nothing short of omnipotent and omniscient, I could not quite fathom girls' love for LV. And Singaporean girls are not the only ones. According to a report on the internet, 10% of all LV products are sold in Japan. Japanese girls in their pursuit of LV bags are even stranger. Singaporean girls merely throw their whole month's salary on LV bags but Japanese girls are willing to sell their bodies.

In Japan, the practice of enjo kosai, which translates literally as ‘assisted dating’ is prevalent. Studying girls – usually high school but occasionally middle school girls – meet with older men, strangers, and date them in exchange for expensive designer label gifts or the money to buy them. And LV turns out to be one of the all time favourites the girls like to ask for in return for sex. What usually happens are that on these Internet boards, an interested man simply types in something like, “$600 for dinner and sex”, leaves a phone number or email address, and waits for a reply. A girl might reply and ask for a particular LV Monogram bag instead. There are no middle men and and no one is forced into the transaction.

Let me digress a little and talk about this practice. The motivation for the men is understandable. Sex is a powerful motivation for men. Many men walk around with a "Lolita complex" - defines as the sexual attraction to underage girls or ephebophilia. Despite the high sounding name, it is in reality another version of pedophilia. These men get turned on by 15 year old girl in sailor moon uniforms, heavy make up, shirt skirts and high white socks. You could also see these girls by the hundreds in Tokyo, hanging out at train stations and along Roppongi road. I remember going to Tokyo once and man, it is not a nice experience to be surrounded by these girls. Captain Obvious has to keep saying "No money not japanese no money" like a magic spell to ward off these LV/Gucci/Hello Kitty/Pokemon lovers. Man, all I want is to get a bowl of noodles.

Men's motivation - understandable. But what about the girls motivation? Why is getting a LV bag such a strong motivation for them to sell their youth and body? According to www.crikley.com, these girls are almost always from relatively stable middle class families. They are not selling themselves to survive but to finance shopping sprees.

This leads us to the third reason as to why girls love LV. Nobody would sell their body to make a bloody fashion statement or just to rub other girls' noses in it (previous posts - reasons A and B).

Reason C : The girls are chasing a dream - the dream that they belong to an elite class of ladies in this era of social classes.

This is pretty sad really. Captain Obvious loves stating the obvious and it is obvious to everybody that our society is evolving into a society of classes. It is not just the simple theory of upper, middle and low classes anymore. Class divides are getting more pronounced and complex. Middle class working men and women try to claw up the ladder to upper class platform, only to find out that the ladder is greased and someone is pouring boiling oil from above. Think Orlando Bloom pouring boiling oil on Islamic soldiers (Saracen infantry) at the gates during the defence of Jerusalem.

Singaporeans in lower classes are worse off. They have a snowball's chance in hell (i.e. zilch) when they try to climb the step ladder to middle class. Imagine orcs trying to climb the ladders up Helm's Deep while being shot at by Orlando Bloom and his elfin archers. Even if you manage to climb to the battlements with couple of arrow sticking out from your chest, Aragon is there to cut your head off. And behind you, Rohan Heavy Calvary is coming to stick a lance up your ass. Wow. Talk about being between the biblical rock and a hard place.

In scenarios like this, people started to look for ways to join the elite. If you don't have money or rich husbands, at least get a expensive bag. Girls from middle and lower classes thus buy LV in order to feel that they "belonged" in the elite class. They could look at others and say "she might be pretty but she doesn't have a LV. Not elite lah. She will probably spend her life waiting tables at Starbucks. Heh heh. I have a LV and I am an elite!" This is even though they are just 15 to 21 year old poly/JC students who got a tiny income from working part time as telemarketers or mascots for football teams. Having a LV helps to maintain their elitism fantasy and help them forget the truth. That they are middle and lower classes and never going to make it big in life because our society has went topsy turvy in its class distinctions.

You might not want to take Captain Obvious' word for it (although I am always right and I will rule the universe someday). Take the word from Takeshi Murakami, creator of the LV multicolored line. Ever ask yourself why the Multicoloured line is completely different from class LV designs? In Murakami's review of a fantasy Japanese movie, it reveals his thinking on life. Murakami notes that it's about fantasy - the fantasy of value. "For girls, famous brands are equal to their fantasy."