Tales of the Onion
Onion, in one of his bragging mood, told us the tale of one of his ex-girlfriends. Before I start, I need to say that Onion's tales border somewhere between fantasy and pure BS (formula is like 50% fantasy+50% BS = 100% whimsical shit like Howl's Moving Onion Castle) so it is really up to anyone to believe. He also just pissed me off last evening because he didn't bother to park his fat, onion ass in the front passenger seat so I sort of became his chaffeur. Me, his boss. He also like to act as if he owns the place. It is time to put his fat ass in his rightful place after I have been more than accommodating in giving him a clean slate to start from - this is in view of the rotten reputation he had back home (nobody really likes him back home and they couldn't get rid of him so they sent him here like a stray onion for me to teach).
So anyway, Onion was telling a group of associates during drinks (he drank coffee - pussy) that he met his ex-girlfriend during a church play when they were young. He played Joseph and Onion's Ex-Girlfriend (OEG) played Mary. Awwww . . . . so sweet. Like Turn Left, Turn Right - destiny meant them to be together. Well, boo fucking hoo (note : why does everyone think their love story is a fucking fairy tale with angels and shit? Ha, ha).
They then met in JC and became an item. Aww, destiny . . . isn't it sweet? Anyway, OEG was apparently pretty and rich. According to Onion, like super-duper, Paris Hilton rich. Once, OEG actually told Onion, "why not we go to Paris for lunch?" and proceeded to buy two airtickets to Paris. That was how rich OEG supposed to be. Onion said in a dreamy voice that he had breakfast at the riveria, implying that he had hot, steamy sex with OEG and his life was perfect.
In the car, I asked Onion point blank whether the story was true. He insisted that it was. According to him, OEG then went to England and became a different person. According to Onion, OEG then slept around, displaying her true character as a slut. She also liked to sleep with big black men because she was heavily into drugs and these black men were all drug peddlars. Onion and OEG broke up when Onion was in armyy. Onion told me that he regretted that things did not work out. He thought their love was meant to be (ha ,ha) and he believed that he would marry her - a super-duper rich girl - and he wouldn't need to work for his living ever again. Yeah, he actually told me this.
Idon't know what to make of this. If Onion looks like Tom Cruise or Andy Lau, I would actually believe him cos Singaporean girls are like suckers. But he is like a fat, rolling onion. Then again, you see such shit in NUS all the time - girls flocking to rich and obnoxious guys who mistreat them. So it could be true.
Anyway, the fact that he told the story to a group of associates over drinks meant that he has a big mouth and likes to say things to impress people and give him an ego stroke. I know of people like him and it is time for me to educate him. I am going to peel myself an onion.
So anyway, Onion was telling a group of associates during drinks (he drank coffee - pussy) that he met his ex-girlfriend during a church play when they were young. He played Joseph and Onion's Ex-Girlfriend (OEG) played Mary. Awwww . . . . so sweet. Like Turn Left, Turn Right - destiny meant them to be together. Well, boo fucking hoo (note : why does everyone think their love story is a fucking fairy tale with angels and shit? Ha, ha).
They then met in JC and became an item. Aww, destiny . . . isn't it sweet? Anyway, OEG was apparently pretty and rich. According to Onion, like super-duper, Paris Hilton rich. Once, OEG actually told Onion, "why not we go to Paris for lunch?" and proceeded to buy two airtickets to Paris. That was how rich OEG supposed to be. Onion said in a dreamy voice that he had breakfast at the riveria, implying that he had hot, steamy sex with OEG and his life was perfect.
In the car, I asked Onion point blank whether the story was true. He insisted that it was. According to him, OEG then went to England and became a different person. According to Onion, OEG then slept around, displaying her true character as a slut. She also liked to sleep with big black men because she was heavily into drugs and these black men were all drug peddlars. Onion and OEG broke up when Onion was in armyy. Onion told me that he regretted that things did not work out. He thought their love was meant to be (ha ,ha) and he believed that he would marry her - a super-duper rich girl - and he wouldn't need to work for his living ever again. Yeah, he actually told me this.
Idon't know what to make of this. If Onion looks like Tom Cruise or Andy Lau, I would actually believe him cos Singaporean girls are like suckers. But he is like a fat, rolling onion. Then again, you see such shit in NUS all the time - girls flocking to rich and obnoxious guys who mistreat them. So it could be true.
Anyway, the fact that he told the story to a group of associates over drinks meant that he has a big mouth and likes to say things to impress people and give him an ego stroke. I know of people like him and it is time for me to educate him. I am going to peel myself an onion.
posted by Captain Obvious at 11:23 PM
2 Comments:
You know... Onion reminds me of another school mate who lived in a HDB flat and later married a 10 years older rich lawyer divorcee with 2 sons. He claims that he is rich enough to support them and his 2 sons adored him.
Yet, ironically, his 2 sons went on a hols to New york with his family without him, and his lawyer wife is still working... Sometimes, it makes you wonder who is supporting who?
Too many loop holes in Onion's story. If Onion truly once love her, he wouldn't be spilling out his steamy sex story to glorify himself. And I hate to say this- but Onion was obviously dumped by his ex. The only thing I know for sure is that Onion's ex is a smart girl to have dump him.
Onion comes from a rich background though. He is a peranakan. Family used to own plantation in Singapore but PAP goverment took everything back under the Land Acquisition Act. Muhahahah. But money should be no object to him.
Yeah, probably. He is quite bitter that his ex is now an IT analyst dating some bigshot from Raymond Weils.
Post a Comment
<< Home