Harry Potter books I to III - summarised

This is embarrassing. I still haven't finished the sixth book in the Harry Potter series i.e. HP and the Half Blood Prince. It has been what, 2 years? I just couldn't finish it because it is so fucking boring. It has been laying on my table for the longest time, taunting me in a nonchalant manner, forever a mark of my incompetence. It wasn't like this, you know. I read the other books in the HP series within days once they were out because they were fantastic but ever since the shitty book "Order of the Phoenix" came out, I just find the whole story line painful and draggy. Half-Blood Prince is just . . . . a fucking pain in the ass and I am just not motivated to finish it. Speaking of which, someone said that Harry Potter Books are difficult. Please. Allow me to summarise them:

HP and Philosopher's Stone

Dumbledore : You, the boy with the scar on your head. Come to magic school.

Harry : My parents are wizards? Cool.

Ron : Hi. I am poor and irritating.

Hermione : Hi. I am smart.

Harry : You are irritating also.

Hermione : Yep, I know.

Voldemort : I wish everyone would quit calling me you-know-who. I got pride, you know.

Harry : You killed my parents. Prepare to die. When I find you, of course.

HP and Chamber of Secrets

Dumbledore : You are late for school. We are looking for a secret room.

Harry : ssdssrdisdosdsddssssss (parseltongue)

Lucius Malfoy : Say what, bitch?

Ginny : Hi. I love Harry. Save me.

Lucius : Bitch.

Voldemort : Christ, when am i going to get a proper fucking body?

Harry : You killed my parents. Prepare to die. I am going to kill your memory first.

HP and Prisoner of Azkaban

Dumbledore : A killer is loose. He killed your parents. Er, we think.

Harry : He killed my parents. Prepare to die.

Hermione : Let's go back in time to save a horse.

Cho Chang : Hi.

Harry : Woah.

Sirius : I am your godfather. I didn't kill your parents. Although I am also a dog.

Voldemort : I am not even really in the fucking book. Some respect here, people!

Dementors : OOooooooooohhhhh.

Hmm, can't even remember much of the rest of the books. The Half-Blood Prince book is looking at me again. Drat.