I don't understand horror movies - Grudge

It is not that I am particularly brave or anything but it is a mystery to me why people are scared shitless by horror movies like the Grudge aka "Ju-On".

I caught it on HBO and decided to watch it because of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer aka Sarah Micheller Geller. She is cute.

(I have no idea who the above woman is but she needs David Gan to take a look at her hair. She also reminds me of my ex-girlfriend. I thus have this urge to elbow her and give her a black eye.)

A brief recap for those not familiar with the Grudge or Ju-On. Basically, some violent shit happened in the family in a house and the spirits stayed in the house causing havoc and death to all who crossed their irritable paths. So far, so Poltergist. Nothing special. This woman in white with long hair (yawn - again?) comes out of no way and just walks unsteadily around grabbing people. She also like to gap her mouth, mouthing soundless death rattle while showing her big eye with the darkest pupil. By the way, the Japanese likes to use "long and messy hair" as a fright tool just as they are obsessed with the concept of water/well/mirror as gate to another world. I am ok with this female ghost since under the right circumstance, this could be scary as hell. It is just that you see one Sadako, you see them all. I just wish directors could be a tad more creative; like having blood stains on her white dress or at least make her wear a Liverpool shirt (oh god, the horrors). She could also bash people to death with her first generation LV bag (made of Japanese yen) which would be frightening as hell.

Woman ghost : Ooooo, I am going to grab you and look at you with my big eye till you die of boredom because my husband killed me because he thought I was unfaithful. Which actually, I was since I was obsessed with this cute, angmoh professor at the university to the point that I was stalking him and collecting photos of him to paste in my ugly scrap book.

Hero : What the fuck has that got to do with me?

Woman ghost : Don't know leh. Grudge mah.

Hero : And why is your son ghost peeking at me in the bathroom?

Woman ghost : Aiyah, don't know lah.

What makes Grudge funny for me is that there is this little boy with dark rings around his eyes. This boy can be found in the strangest place; staircases, under the fucking blanket and I think in Grudge 2; under the fucking desk peeking at girl's panties.




People told me that the boy is scary but shit, I find the boy funny like hell. Fucker is clearly a peeping tom and has serious issues. Why would he be scary? Everytime he appeared on screen, I was yelling at the actors to slap his ghost ass around or throw something at him.

I found the movie a waste of time. Thank goodness, I watched it on HBO so I don't have to spend money on it. People said that this was an excellent movie which built up on the eeriness, employed an excellent use of sound and music as well as innovative use of cinematography. Maybe, but having a heavy, creepy atmosphere also requires some proper scary ghosts as well as a good storyline to carry it through. Sad to say, employing an out-of-job Sadako (maybe it is a slow day at the video store?) and a peeping tom of a boy ghost did nothing for me. As far the storyline, violent spirits roaming a house and taking vengeance on the living? It has been done to the death (pun intended).

Last thing, I always wonder why the heroes always have problem SETTING FIRE to the haunted house. The same shit always happened. They walked into the haunted house, got distracted or attacked by the ghosts, dropped the matchstick or lighter, and then the whole plan went to shit. I mean, what the F? How difficult is it to set fire to a house? You want to set fire to a house, you just pour gasoline on the walls on the outside, hurled a couple of molotov cocktails into the house and sit back and enjoy the barbeque.

They better hope I don't die of rage after watching the movie because my violent spirit is going to haunt my TV and house forever.