People I met in this region - the Lao Hermione Granger
If one reads Harry Potter books, one would know that Harry Potter has this irritating best friend called Hermione Granger who has bushy hair and is supposed to be one of the most powerful girl-witches in her generation. She is the girl everyone meets at one time or the other - the girl who always raises her hand excitedly whenever the teacher asks a question, who is morally principled and would never skip classes and spends an eternity lecturing you to do your homework. If Hermione is in Singapore, she will be the sort to score 100 in every tests from Physics to Confucius Studies (do we still offer that shit?) and bitch about getting only 99 marks in Economics.
In other words, the kind of student whom we always like to steal her eraser so as to irritate her no end.
Anywho, I was invited to attend this oil painting exhibition on a Friday night. Normally I don't attend this sort of artistic BS where everyone walks around with a glass in one hand and nod sagely at strange paintings and make pesudo-intellectual comments like "Hmm, the light truly accentuates the colours of the sky. And look at the meticulous ways the artist has painted the edges of the orange so that the different textures of grey blend into the shadows in the background". Dumbasses. Anyway, I was supposed to attend a Taekwondo exhibition later that night so I thought I dropped by to say hi to my friend first who incidentally, is the organiser of this oil painting exhibition.
At the oil painting exhibition, I met this really striking ang moh woman with bushy hair. She is in her 30's but with a really nice figure and cute. Since there were nobody remotely interesting at the exhibition to talk too, I grab a beer and walked up to her. She turned out to be a Hungarian. I shall call her Hermione Granger (HG) [obvious in a while] and this is her story:
"I met my Lao husband when he was in Hungary for studies and I followed him back to Laos since. I now opened an art gallery in Luang Prabang (a sleepy northern city in Laos and 10 hours drive from Vientiane). Business is slow so I usually meditate during the day. I am also into palm reading as I believe strongly that this current life I am leading is not my first time on Earth. So I went to see this famous fortune teller and he told me that this is indeed the fourth life I am leading!
(HG'S pretty but slightly mad eyes widened in excitement).
My first life was a witch! And the fortune teller told me that I often used my magic for good and to heal the poor and helpless. He also said that I could fly among the treetops at night! Isn't that the most wonderful thing in the world?
My second life was a princess! Imagine that, I was a royalty! He told me that I had many servants and stayed in a castle. But I was killed by someone in the end.
My third life was a normal person in France. Nothing special.
This is my current 4th life. Oh, how I wish I am leading my 1st life as a witch and have the ability to fly among the treetops! I am trying to read some books on how to do that (fly?). Wouldn't you agree that it would be wonderful if I can fly?"
Normally, I would be shocked. But since I met quite a lot of weird people in this region, the surprise gene was beaten out of me a long time ago. So I just answered her in the most normal tone in the world, as if I was buying vegetables at the market instead of talking to a wanna-be witch at a oil painting exhibition:
CO : So, were you using a broomstick or flying with the help of a spell?
HG : I am not sure. Broomstick I guess.
CO : Flying with broomstick is tough. Nobody can be comfortable riding the stick of wood for long periods. How does one even navigate a broomstick and increase speed?
HG : That is a good question.
CO : I wonder whether broomsticks can drift around corners like those stunt drivers in Fast and Furious : Tokyo Drift. My dream is to drift around Singapore in a Mitsubishi Lancer Evo 7, you know.
HG : . . . . .
CO : By the way, do you think you can play Quidditch? Wouldn't it be cool?!! Would you be a beater or a chaser? I want to be a keeper myself.
HG : Quid . . what?
She then proceeded to drag me to every oil painting and explained to me the intricacies of each painting and the "story" it was trying to tell. I went along since she was pretty (but mad) and it was hard to escape from the clutches of a witch. She gave me her name card and asked me to call her if I am in town - as if I would want a broom ride from the airport (?).
Hermione must have flunked her last year at Hogwarts and decided to sell art in Laos.
In other words, the kind of student whom we always like to steal her eraser so as to irritate her no end.
Anywho, I was invited to attend this oil painting exhibition on a Friday night. Normally I don't attend this sort of artistic BS where everyone walks around with a glass in one hand and nod sagely at strange paintings and make pesudo-intellectual comments like "Hmm, the light truly accentuates the colours of the sky. And look at the meticulous ways the artist has painted the edges of the orange so that the different textures of grey blend into the shadows in the background". Dumbasses. Anyway, I was supposed to attend a Taekwondo exhibition later that night so I thought I dropped by to say hi to my friend first who incidentally, is the organiser of this oil painting exhibition.
At the oil painting exhibition, I met this really striking ang moh woman with bushy hair. She is in her 30's but with a really nice figure and cute. Since there were nobody remotely interesting at the exhibition to talk too, I grab a beer and walked up to her. She turned out to be a Hungarian. I shall call her Hermione Granger (HG) [obvious in a while] and this is her story:
"I met my Lao husband when he was in Hungary for studies and I followed him back to Laos since. I now opened an art gallery in Luang Prabang (a sleepy northern city in Laos and 10 hours drive from Vientiane). Business is slow so I usually meditate during the day. I am also into palm reading as I believe strongly that this current life I am leading is not my first time on Earth. So I went to see this famous fortune teller and he told me that this is indeed the fourth life I am leading!
(HG'S pretty but slightly mad eyes widened in excitement).
My first life was a witch! And the fortune teller told me that I often used my magic for good and to heal the poor and helpless. He also said that I could fly among the treetops at night! Isn't that the most wonderful thing in the world?
My second life was a princess! Imagine that, I was a royalty! He told me that I had many servants and stayed in a castle. But I was killed by someone in the end.
My third life was a normal person in France. Nothing special.
This is my current 4th life. Oh, how I wish I am leading my 1st life as a witch and have the ability to fly among the treetops! I am trying to read some books on how to do that (fly?). Wouldn't you agree that it would be wonderful if I can fly?"
Normally, I would be shocked. But since I met quite a lot of weird people in this region, the surprise gene was beaten out of me a long time ago. So I just answered her in the most normal tone in the world, as if I was buying vegetables at the market instead of talking to a wanna-be witch at a oil painting exhibition:
CO : So, were you using a broomstick or flying with the help of a spell?
HG : I am not sure. Broomstick I guess.
CO : Flying with broomstick is tough. Nobody can be comfortable riding the stick of wood for long periods. How does one even navigate a broomstick and increase speed?
HG : That is a good question.
CO : I wonder whether broomsticks can drift around corners like those stunt drivers in Fast and Furious : Tokyo Drift. My dream is to drift around Singapore in a Mitsubishi Lancer Evo 7, you know.
HG : . . . . .
CO : By the way, do you think you can play Quidditch? Wouldn't it be cool?!! Would you be a beater or a chaser? I want to be a keeper myself.
HG : Quid . . what?
She then proceeded to drag me to every oil painting and explained to me the intricacies of each painting and the "story" it was trying to tell. I went along since she was pretty (but mad) and it was hard to escape from the clutches of a witch. She gave me her name card and asked me to call her if I am in town - as if I would want a broom ride from the airport (?).
Hermione must have flunked her last year at Hogwarts and decided to sell art in Laos.
posted by Captain Obvious at 6:30 PM
4 Comments:
Laos is full of weirdos. Think I fit in pretty well. Here's my story if I am there.
I love LV very much. I love LV ever since I started remembering things, which I don't recall when.
I am in Laos cause I have a friend who dislike Lv. I believe the power of LV in me could help me change my friend's perception.
I am still working on it.
You sounded like a LV high priestess. Begone, dark creature!
I just looked at her namecard. She actually has a website since she is a designer of some sorts. Think she put up pics of the clothes she designed. I did not visit her website as internet is so slow in Laos these days. Not sure whether there are pics of her though. Can SMS you the website if you like.
What is it or what it is ~what the F___ is she trying to say?
I can't understand her... she is really strange. Her poetry are so arty farty that they do not belong to this planet.
I like her medieval long top though...
Will ask her how much is it when I see her. Yeah, she is not quite all there.
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