People I met in this region - Part 1

I met loads of interesting people in this region. By interesting, I meant insane.

I met an American woman called . . .hmm, let's call her River (you will know in a minute why). A year ago, I used to frequent this cafe named Kung's Cafe for breakfast on weekend mornings. This cafe is located in a back alley of an isolated street. It is actually a little too pretentious to call it a cafe. It is basically two tables placed outside someone's house with a parasol blocking out the sun. The alley is as dilapited as those streets in Cairo and New Delhi which I walked during my travels. The cafe is only known to a few foreigners working in Laos and run by a Lao woman named Kung (hence the name Kung's cafe). Kung served up tasty pan-fried eggs and white bread spread with butter and jam. The highlight of Kung's breakfast is the Lao coffee. For those who don't know what is Lao coffee, it is basically local Lao coffee with half the glass filled with condensed milk. That's right, boys and girls. Half the glass is filled condensed milk. It is basically enough to give anyone a massive sugar rush and kill any diabetic patients on the spot. Suicide by sugar. First time drinkers will be bouncing off walls after their first glass. If you like your coffee super strong and ultra sweet, come to Laos. Diabetes is a problem here by the way.

I always meet River when I frequented Kung's cafe in the past. River was an American from Chicago and comes to Laos about the same time I did. She stayed next door to Kung's cafe and helped a local run a library for the kids. The library was absolutely crummy and I doubt that she was paid at all - merely just a place to stay. She is the typical foreigner who comes to Laos with no money and just do whatever jobs available to get by. River was fair-skinned and a wispy woman. She was good friend with Kung and Kung always provide her with free meals. She didn't eat much anyway. River was softspoken and as you might guess by now, a little loony. How loony? Well, I asked her once why she came to Laos with no money and ended up manning a crummy library for Lao kids. This is River's story. Remember, she was a university graduate.

"Before I graduated from my university in Chicago, I had a dream. I was standing in a field and the sun was shinning. I was peaceful. A man with the most beautiful face I have ever seen was standing by a sparkling river filled with trouts. He was smiling at me and beckoning me to come to him. I woke up before I could go but I instinctly knew that the river was in Laos. Where is the river located in Laos, I do not know. But I do know that my destiny is to come to Laos and find the river. When I find the river, I will find the man and the answer I seek. And you know what is the strangest thing? I have never heard of Laos before my dream." She said this in a dream-like trance with a smile on her face. No BS, she meant what she said.

Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner of the CO's Mad Woman Award 2005! When I finished listening, my jaw must had dropped to the floor and Kung had to sweep it up for me. I could hear loony tunes playing in the background and almost see Roadrunner doing the "pip, pip!" as it zoomed past this loony woman from Chicago who dropped everything, career and family, to go find a river in a strange foreign land simply because she dreamt it. I am betting that she was either on drugs or had an abusive childhood. Which dumbass drop everything in life to pursue a figment of his dream? Hey, I dreamt of fighting Superman once but that doesn't mean I have to go fufil my "destiny of fighting Superman"? Crazy American woman.

And they always ask me why I didn't get a girlfriend in Laos. Between nasty, fat bitches and mad woman looking for a river, I am really spoilt for choice here.