Things everyone hears once in their life and wishes to kill the speaker with a fork Part 1
I always wanted to start a series called "Things everyone hears once in their life and wishes to kill the speaker with a fork". It is a reminder to me as to what sort of dumbasses walk among us nowadays. It is also a reminder to me that if one day, I should say the same thing to friends or colleagues; I had became a dumbass and should kill myself quietly. How could I kill myself quietly and painfully? Well, I shall read Ann Rice's Vampires chronicles till I die of stupid overload. Ann Rice's books suck ass; and so does the vampire Lestat. Boo - hoo, I am a vampire who loves his mummy. I shall write a poem - So darken are the days which thee could not continue or see the glorious rays of the dawn. Ann Rice + Vampire Lestat = Pussy. You are a vampire, stop whining and deal with it.
The first thing which everyone hears once in their life and wishes to kill the speaker with a fork is the following phrase:
"Think out of the box" aka TOOTB
We all hear this at least once in our lives. Teachers, lecturers, HR gurus, bosses and seniors who think they know the shit tell us to think out of the box (TOOTB). They say the phrase TOOTB as if it is some divine and holy wisdom passed down through the ages. I suspect these dumbasses get an orgasm everytime they say this BS mantra which is why they keep repeating it ad nauseum.
How did this BS get started? I suspect someone climbed a mountain and saw this Indian holy man (with white beard) living in a dirty card box at the top and asked him:
Dumbass : Oh dirty Indian Holy Man who is picking his nose! What is the meaning of life?
Indian Holy Man : Hmm. Let me get out of this card box first and think.
Dumbass : Think? Think out of the box? Why didn't I think of it? Thank you, Holy Man!
Indian Holy Man : (What a dumbass).
Have you play this game before? I have been to some HR seminars in which the HR guru asked us to connect all 9 dots within a few pencil strokes. When we couldn't do it, the HR guru started grinning like American sailor in a Thai hookers' bar in Patpong. He then triumphantly told us that we couldn't do it because we were not thinking outside the box! We can connect the dots by either:
(a) Tearing the paper up and connect the dots by placing them side by side; or
(b) Draw the pencil stroke outside the imaginary boundary which the dots formed
(BS solutions. Do us a favour - stop wasting our time).
He then asked us to apply the lessons to our work and told us to TOOTB. Really? What does connecting dots with lines have to do with actual work in REAL LIFE like Increasing sales, writing papers, selling cars, crunching data, cooking horfun for hungry customers etc etc? Nothing. TOOTB is just a BS HR term for thinking creatively. The next time someone asks you to think out of the box, look him in the eyes and say:
"What Box?"
And then stab him with a fork. When he asked why did you just stab him, just say:
"I WAS THINKING OUT OF THE BOX AND REALISED THAT STABBING YOU WOULD MAKE ME FEEL BETTER".
The first thing which everyone hears once in their life and wishes to kill the speaker with a fork is the following phrase:
"Think out of the box" aka TOOTB
We all hear this at least once in our lives. Teachers, lecturers, HR gurus, bosses and seniors who think they know the shit tell us to think out of the box (TOOTB). They say the phrase TOOTB as if it is some divine and holy wisdom passed down through the ages. I suspect these dumbasses get an orgasm everytime they say this BS mantra which is why they keep repeating it ad nauseum.
How did this BS get started? I suspect someone climbed a mountain and saw this Indian holy man (with white beard) living in a dirty card box at the top and asked him:
Dumbass : Oh dirty Indian Holy Man who is picking his nose! What is the meaning of life?
Indian Holy Man : Hmm. Let me get out of this card box first and think.
Dumbass : Think? Think out of the box? Why didn't I think of it? Thank you, Holy Man!
Indian Holy Man : (What a dumbass).
Have you play this game before? I have been to some HR seminars in which the HR guru asked us to connect all 9 dots within a few pencil strokes. When we couldn't do it, the HR guru started grinning like American sailor in a Thai hookers' bar in Patpong. He then triumphantly told us that we couldn't do it because we were not thinking outside the box! We can connect the dots by either:
(a) Tearing the paper up and connect the dots by placing them side by side; or
(b) Draw the pencil stroke outside the imaginary boundary which the dots formed
(BS solutions. Do us a favour - stop wasting our time).
He then asked us to apply the lessons to our work and told us to TOOTB. Really? What does connecting dots with lines have to do with actual work in REAL LIFE like Increasing sales, writing papers, selling cars, crunching data, cooking horfun for hungry customers etc etc? Nothing. TOOTB is just a BS HR term for thinking creatively. The next time someone asks you to think out of the box, look him in the eyes and say:
"What Box?"
And then stab him with a fork. When he asked why did you just stab him, just say:
"I WAS THINKING OUT OF THE BOX AND REALISED THAT STABBING YOU WOULD MAKE ME FEEL BETTER".
posted by Captain Obvious at 11:14 PM
3 Comments:
Ha ha... I have been thru those silly HR course. They aint cheap by the way.
These course people did think out of the box to extort money from government bodies.
Those silly HR courses cost a bomb. When in Singapore, I cringe everytime they send me to attend these courses.
Once, we have a department retreat in Rasa Sentosa where the whole day consisted of a HR workshop where we learned teamwork, communication and sharing of experiences. I felt like killing myself.
Oh yes, I went thru one of those resort courses, also in sentosa. Absolute waste of time.
I left feeling no different from before.
I can see where my tax is going into.
Post a Comment
<< Home