My Singapore's first day routine - Part 1
I actually wrote this in September but never got around to posting it up.
Whenever I go back to Singapore, I have a set routine on the first day. I usually arrive at 4 pm at Changi airport. I meet my dad at the arrival. At the airport carpark, I will then hug my neglected Miss Toyota Corolla Altis and pat its bonnet a little for being a nice car. Upon driving home (while mentally telling myself that I must drive on the left in Singapore and not right like Laos and cussing idiots that drive way past the speed limit), I then sit down with my parents. We watch TCS shows at about 5.15 pm - it doesn't matter what spastic or slapstick drama they got on TV at that time. It can be Holland V or it can be some Taiwanese sob dramas. I then go to jog a bit at West Coast Park at about 6pm, then come home at 7 pm and sit down with my parents and eat whatever food my mother put in front of me. My god, I miss the soups. First day dinner is always steamed snow fish and broiled lotus soup. I then go to watch a movie at Empress Cineplex (at Clementi Ave 3) alone at about 9 pm. Again, it doesn't really matter what movie. Hell, I will sit through a crappy Thai horror movie if need be. I just want to sit in the dark and watch a movie with all the proper surround sounds.
After the movie, I then drive around to the worst education institution in Singapore - Satan's armpit where it imparts no useful skills and produces dumbasses and slackers by the truckloads aka National University of Singapore (NUS). Defamation? Please. It is not defamation if it is true. Paris Hilton and her poser friends will be so comfortable in NUS - posers capital of the world. It teaches NOTHING and only posers have a good time there. Jam and Hop? God, kill me. 21st birthday parties at some rich classmates' pool side in a condominium? Ouch. Valentine's Day dedication at Central Library's foyer? Look out, Zombies alert! Just look at everyone from my batch. Everyone including me is useless and has no applicable useful skills in society. If the economy collapses tomorrow, most guys like me will be karang gunis asking for old newspapers and TV/radios.
Karang - Guni!
Jiu Bo Zhua, Radio, Dian Xi Ki!
Girls of course will be selling insurances. If they have not already given up the battle to do something useful with their lives and not gotten fat and married.
So, I usually drive around NUS at night, park my car at lecturers' parking lots (just to spite those dumbasses who waste my time and can't teach to save their lives), laugh at all those students still studying late at night. What's the point, all you stupid geeks and nerds? The whole world outside is run by posers and dumbasses. You get on top by being pretty and profiling yourself, not how well you can regurgitate the right-hand rule for magnetic current (I still don't know what shit is this) or the different ways of assessing the value of real estate in f_kng London (HTF is this applicable in Singapore?). If you are not in medicine and law, nothing those NUS lecturers teach you is even remotely applicable. A 1st class and 2nd upper class honors have as much use as a one legged man in an ass-kicking contest. HA HA HA HA HA. What an epic waste of four years of youth.
More to follow.
Whenever I go back to Singapore, I have a set routine on the first day. I usually arrive at 4 pm at Changi airport. I meet my dad at the arrival. At the airport carpark, I will then hug my neglected Miss Toyota Corolla Altis and pat its bonnet a little for being a nice car. Upon driving home (while mentally telling myself that I must drive on the left in Singapore and not right like Laos and cussing idiots that drive way past the speed limit), I then sit down with my parents. We watch TCS shows at about 5.15 pm - it doesn't matter what spastic or slapstick drama they got on TV at that time. It can be Holland V or it can be some Taiwanese sob dramas. I then go to jog a bit at West Coast Park at about 6pm, then come home at 7 pm and sit down with my parents and eat whatever food my mother put in front of me. My god, I miss the soups. First day dinner is always steamed snow fish and broiled lotus soup. I then go to watch a movie at Empress Cineplex (at Clementi Ave 3) alone at about 9 pm. Again, it doesn't really matter what movie. Hell, I will sit through a crappy Thai horror movie if need be. I just want to sit in the dark and watch a movie with all the proper surround sounds.
After the movie, I then drive around to the worst education institution in Singapore - Satan's armpit where it imparts no useful skills and produces dumbasses and slackers by the truckloads aka National University of Singapore (NUS). Defamation? Please. It is not defamation if it is true. Paris Hilton and her poser friends will be so comfortable in NUS - posers capital of the world. It teaches NOTHING and only posers have a good time there. Jam and Hop? God, kill me. 21st birthday parties at some rich classmates' pool side in a condominium? Ouch. Valentine's Day dedication at Central Library's foyer? Look out, Zombies alert! Just look at everyone from my batch. Everyone including me is useless and has no applicable useful skills in society. If the economy collapses tomorrow, most guys like me will be karang gunis asking for old newspapers and TV/radios.
Karang - Guni!
Jiu Bo Zhua, Radio, Dian Xi Ki!
Girls of course will be selling insurances. If they have not already given up the battle to do something useful with their lives and not gotten fat and married.
So, I usually drive around NUS at night, park my car at lecturers' parking lots (just to spite those dumbasses who waste my time and can't teach to save their lives), laugh at all those students still studying late at night. What's the point, all you stupid geeks and nerds? The whole world outside is run by posers and dumbasses. You get on top by being pretty and profiling yourself, not how well you can regurgitate the right-hand rule for magnetic current (I still don't know what shit is this) or the different ways of assessing the value of real estate in f_kng London (HTF is this applicable in Singapore?). If you are not in medicine and law, nothing those NUS lecturers teach you is even remotely applicable. A 1st class and 2nd upper class honors have as much use as a one legged man in an ass-kicking contest. HA HA HA HA HA. What an epic waste of four years of youth.
More to follow.
posted by Captain Obvious at 1:42 AM
6 Comments:
Poser captial- I like that. Damm true.
Came to think of it. Me also poser.
Gosh... I spent 4 years posing and I am paying to pose. Should have kept the money and spent it on some LV and pose in Orchard. At least, one sure way to find a rich chap.
Wasn't meant to turn into a mini-rant against NUS actually. Wanted to a full piece later.
Yah yah. You should have spent your 4 years posing at NUS / Zouk / Mdm Wong and get a rich husband. You weak lah. If you have done so, you will now be a tai-tai with the following daily routine:
9 am : English breakfast prepared by Filippino maid
10 am : Shopping at Borders. Made a mental note of Fann Wong's hairstyle and skin products used. Go buy the same products.
11 am : Shopping at Mango/Zara. Laugh at people shopping at This Fashion. Flash your BLACK Amex Card (OMG).
12 pm : Meet rich hubby at Din Tien Fu for lunch.
2 pm : Shopping at LV. Bliss. Laugh at office workers rushing back to office after lunch.
3.30 pm : Have tea with the other Tais Tais at Delifrance. Compare LVs. Complain that baguette is not fresh enough.
5 pm : Go home and shop at Ebay for the latest LV fashions from Paris and US.
6.30 pm : Entertain fellow rich tais tais and their husbands and host a luxurious dinner using wines with french names which nobody can pronounce.
10 pm : Cosy up with rich husband as you people count your assets and massive bank balances and wonder where to spend your vacation. Paris or Bahamas. Hmm.
See? All the posing at NUS wasted.
Ha ha... as a tai tai, I can set up a blog with loads of pics on myself, myself and myself.
Hoping that I'll get noticed and invited to do phototaking at my mansion or whatever.
Just read a celebrity blog... gosh.
Celebrity's blog? Share leh. Lifestyle of the rich and famous is always interesting.
BM lah.
Think some mag wants to take pic of her condo unit or something.
Bleah. Hate her blog. She is like Ann Rice on cheap drugs. She just love to write for the sake of seeing her garbled, confused words.
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