America's Next Top (Aneroxic) Model
America's Next Top Model is in its 7th season. But last night's episode on Thailand's UBC Series is the first time I caught it on TV. I am not sure whether they show the reality series in Singapore.
I was thoroughly entertained.
There were like 10 aneroxic models left in this reality contest; which only the winner will get a free buffet voucher at Sakae Sushi. Just kidding. These models will die of overeating after just drinking the miso soup. Apparently, these bitches are fighting over some BS lucrative contract with some world famous modelling agency called Elite Models. I am assuming Elite Models is a famous, big-ass company in the US which every girl is dying to join and be yet another faceless employee lost in the crowd. The models were then asked to compete with each other in a series of photoshoots. They have to pose with animals, male models and do strange poses. The loser get her ass kick off the show by a panel of judges. Chief Judge is Supermodel Tyra Banks herself and the rest were made up of so-called luminaries and who-whos from the American modelling world e.g. magazine editor, famous stylists etc. Some things I learned:
(a) The amount of bitching and crying in the modelling world is amazing.
Model Melrose gossiped that Model Anchal is not as beautiful as she first thought and not much of a threat. Anchal overheard it and started crying like a pussy "Boo Hoo. How can she be so mean?? Why doesn't she like me? Wa wa wa wa." Anchal cried like a certifiable bitch for like, start to finish of the entire show.
MUWAWAHA. Some people cry because their loved ones passed away. Anchal cried like a blown tap because someone thinks she is not as beautiful as they thought. It takes a special kind of dumbassness to even cry at such a minor thing.
And then the bitching. My god, the bitching. Every model seem to hate Anchal because "Anchal always say she is ugly but we all know she is pretty. She is so mean!". And Anchal say " I know I am ugly because I eat too much! Look, ice-cream! Woo Hoo! " I like Anchal. She eats when she is depressed and since she is depressed 90% of the time, she spends most of her time on the show crying and eating at the same time.
MUWAHAHAHA. So-called models have surprisingly low self-esteem.
(b) Models are fugly and aneroxic.
I look at all these fugly models and decided instantly to drive out to get an ice-cream sundae, topped with strawberry syrup and a chocolate biscuit. Why? Because all these fugly models are so starvingly thin that it made me felt like I was in a famine and wanted to eat something. I have seen pictures of holocaust sufferers who were in better shape than them. My big toe weigh more than them. When they took off their clothes for the photo shoot, I could see ribs under the skin. Ouch. I mean, they are almost all skin and bones. I bet they each weigh less than 45 kg, which is the weight of some people's ego alone.
And they are truly fugly. Which lead to observation (c) . . .
(c) photographers and make-up artists are gods
Absolutely amazing. Photographers and make up artisits practically work magic with their cameras and brushes and actually manage to find a way to make most of these fugly, aneroxic girls look supple and sexy. The expertise is incredible.
But of course, you get the usual dumbass comments from the so called judges which are all made up of snooty models and gay photographers.
Typical dumbass, snooty comment:
"Anchal would not be a good model. Her pictures are beautiful because she is beautiful, not because she knows how to be a beautiful model."
It is dumbass, illogical comment like this that made me switched channel to watch the Apprentice instead.
I was thoroughly entertained.
There were like 10 aneroxic models left in this reality contest; which only the winner will get a free buffet voucher at Sakae Sushi. Just kidding. These models will die of overeating after just drinking the miso soup. Apparently, these bitches are fighting over some BS lucrative contract with some world famous modelling agency called Elite Models. I am assuming Elite Models is a famous, big-ass company in the US which every girl is dying to join and be yet another faceless employee lost in the crowd. The models were then asked to compete with each other in a series of photoshoots. They have to pose with animals, male models and do strange poses. The loser get her ass kick off the show by a panel of judges. Chief Judge is Supermodel Tyra Banks herself and the rest were made up of so-called luminaries and who-whos from the American modelling world e.g. magazine editor, famous stylists etc. Some things I learned:
(a) The amount of bitching and crying in the modelling world is amazing.
Model Melrose gossiped that Model Anchal is not as beautiful as she first thought and not much of a threat. Anchal overheard it and started crying like a pussy "Boo Hoo. How can she be so mean?? Why doesn't she like me? Wa wa wa wa." Anchal cried like a certifiable bitch for like, start to finish of the entire show.
MUWAWAHA. Some people cry because their loved ones passed away. Anchal cried like a blown tap because someone thinks she is not as beautiful as they thought. It takes a special kind of dumbassness to even cry at such a minor thing.
And then the bitching. My god, the bitching. Every model seem to hate Anchal because "Anchal always say she is ugly but we all know she is pretty. She is so mean!". And Anchal say " I know I am ugly because I eat too much! Look, ice-cream! Woo Hoo! " I like Anchal. She eats when she is depressed and since she is depressed 90% of the time, she spends most of her time on the show crying and eating at the same time.
MUWAHAHAHA. So-called models have surprisingly low self-esteem.
(b) Models are fugly and aneroxic.
I look at all these fugly models and decided instantly to drive out to get an ice-cream sundae, topped with strawberry syrup and a chocolate biscuit. Why? Because all these fugly models are so starvingly thin that it made me felt like I was in a famine and wanted to eat something. I have seen pictures of holocaust sufferers who were in better shape than them. My big toe weigh more than them. When they took off their clothes for the photo shoot, I could see ribs under the skin. Ouch. I mean, they are almost all skin and bones. I bet they each weigh less than 45 kg, which is the weight of some people's ego alone.
And they are truly fugly. Which lead to observation (c) . . .
(c) photographers and make-up artists are gods
Absolutely amazing. Photographers and make up artisits practically work magic with their cameras and brushes and actually manage to find a way to make most of these fugly, aneroxic girls look supple and sexy. The expertise is incredible.
But of course, you get the usual dumbass comments from the so called judges which are all made up of snooty models and gay photographers.
Typical dumbass, snooty comment:
"Anchal would not be a good model. Her pictures are beautiful because she is beautiful, not because she knows how to be a beautiful model."
It is dumbass, illogical comment like this that made me switched channel to watch the Apprentice instead.
posted by Captain Obvious at 10:31 PM
3 Comments:
Ha ha... sounds like a bimbo show.
Models are hangers. They don't fit well inside their clothes, they hang clothes.
It is a great bimbo show in which you actually get a first hand account into how petty the modelling world. I hope they get paid a lot to starve themselves like that.
Ha.. one just died. Since, a law was passed not to hire models below a certain weight.
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