Thou shall not watch - if you are a dumbass
It seems that the whole world has tied its bras and panties into a knot as the globe splits itself into three warring factions, namely (a) "Dan Brown is the anti-Christ" faction; (b) "Da Vinci Code is great" faction and (c) "why don't everyone shut up and just watch the movie" faction. Guess which faction I belong to?
I read with guffaws that Solomon Islands and Samoa have banned the movie. The Solomon Island PM Sogavare said yesterday that Solomon Island is a Christian country and "the film undermines the very roots of Christianity". PM Sogavare also said that the "government will be failing in its duty if it allows such a film to destroy the moral fabric of society".
Permit me to just say that I respectfully disagree with the doomsday (dan) theory and all the "undermining Christian roots" charges. It is a perception based on shallow emotions, extreme extrapolation and outright crystal ball gazing. I find it more believable to say that Mr Dan Brown is part of the Scooby Doo Gang conniving to take over the world than the theory that the book/movie will destroy the moral fabric of society (ha ha). I also have to respectfully disagree with PM Sogavare. I am sure he have the best interests of his people and nation at heart but honestly, Christianity had survived more shit in the last 2000 years than what one book can offer as a threat, namely:
(a) gadzillions religious schisms (Nestorian Schism, Great Schism and Russian Orthodox Schism, Restorationist movement to name a few)
(b) seven failed Crusades for Jerusalem (hey Christian dipshits, here's a valuable battle advice 1000 years later. Stop fighting the Muslim Saracens with freaking heavy calvary in full plate armour under the desert sun)
(c) flower power generation in the 60s where everone is having sex with everyone
(d) explosion of pornography everywhere (some might say it is not necessarily a bad thing)
(e) increasing number of people turning to new age religions like worshipping UFOs (now this is weird)
(f) increasing number of gays, same sex marriages, divorces and rocketing abortion rates
(g) and damning criminal charges against christian priests who committed sexual sins against small children.
Forget about Dan Brown and Da Vinci Code. Trust me when I say that the Council of Churches should be more concerned with its priests sexually abusing small children and the increasing (and brazen) number of gays in society than a freaking book. Oh, and to all gays reading this, sodomy is not allowed in the bible. Sorry, stop making excuses about it and deal with it.
The good thing about the book and movie is that it reveals most Christians (especially in Singapore) for what they are, ignorant dumbasses who thought that their religion only revolves around the birth, cruxification and resurrection of Christ. I know, I met so many dumbasses in Singapore who are like VLV said, closeminded. Closeminded? These people are as closed as a prison after lockdown or an ice-cream shop in the North Pole. In winter. Trepassers will be shot and penguins turned away. I met Singaporean Christians who couldn't tell Abraham, Solomon and Moses apart. You know the type, they give you a blank look when you talk about the why God screwed around with Job and the Gospel of Judas or Thomas. All they know is that Christ was their savior, born in a stable, got cruxified . . . and hmm, that's it. Oh, and Moses split the sea and Noah was the guy who built a big boat called the Ark because it rained heavily. That's about it. The rest are learnt from watching Hollywood movies like Ben-Hur, Disney's Prince of Egypt (which sucks so much ass simply by having Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey sang their shit in it), Ten Commandments and seeing Charlton Heston talked to a burning bush and walked around in a robe.
Fact is, many Christians are scared. They are scared that the movie and book will reveal the complete frauds that they are when they couldn't even answer a simple question on their religion. Mary Magdalene not a prostitute and might be Christ's chosen successor instead of Peter? Horrors! It is an alien concept to them as to SpongeBob Squarepants is to me.
And to all pro-Dan Brown fans, stop using the DaVinci Code as your version of the New Bible to bash Christians. The Priory of Sion is most likely to be an elaborate hoax (see Discovery Channel's special on the Priory of Sion). If I hear another dumbass claiming that Mary was from the House of Benjamin and the Merovingian line in France can be traced to Christ, he better had some hard proof instead of simply quoting from the Da Vinci Code. Otherwise, he would feel my boot up his ass. Heaven knows, how Dan Brown could even say that Christ and Mary had a daughter called Sarah. Sarah? Sarah Lee (cake) is more like it.
P.S : Oh, and to all scared Christians, just one last word - " Dinosaurs". Try explaining it to me again.
I read with guffaws that Solomon Islands and Samoa have banned the movie. The Solomon Island PM Sogavare said yesterday that Solomon Island is a Christian country and "the film undermines the very roots of Christianity". PM Sogavare also said that the "government will be failing in its duty if it allows such a film to destroy the moral fabric of society".
Permit me to just say that I respectfully disagree with the doomsday (dan) theory and all the "undermining Christian roots" charges. It is a perception based on shallow emotions, extreme extrapolation and outright crystal ball gazing. I find it more believable to say that Mr Dan Brown is part of the Scooby Doo Gang conniving to take over the world than the theory that the book/movie will destroy the moral fabric of society (ha ha). I also have to respectfully disagree with PM Sogavare. I am sure he have the best interests of his people and nation at heart but honestly, Christianity had survived more shit in the last 2000 years than what one book can offer as a threat, namely:
(a) gadzillions religious schisms (Nestorian Schism, Great Schism and Russian Orthodox Schism, Restorationist movement to name a few)
(b) seven failed Crusades for Jerusalem (hey Christian dipshits, here's a valuable battle advice 1000 years later. Stop fighting the Muslim Saracens with freaking heavy calvary in full plate armour under the desert sun)
(c) flower power generation in the 60s where everone is having sex with everyone
(d) explosion of pornography everywhere (some might say it is not necessarily a bad thing)
(e) increasing number of people turning to new age religions like worshipping UFOs (now this is weird)
(f) increasing number of gays, same sex marriages, divorces and rocketing abortion rates
(g) and damning criminal charges against christian priests who committed sexual sins against small children.
Forget about Dan Brown and Da Vinci Code. Trust me when I say that the Council of Churches should be more concerned with its priests sexually abusing small children and the increasing (and brazen) number of gays in society than a freaking book. Oh, and to all gays reading this, sodomy is not allowed in the bible. Sorry, stop making excuses about it and deal with it.
The good thing about the book and movie is that it reveals most Christians (especially in Singapore) for what they are, ignorant dumbasses who thought that their religion only revolves around the birth, cruxification and resurrection of Christ. I know, I met so many dumbasses in Singapore who are like VLV said, closeminded. Closeminded? These people are as closed as a prison after lockdown or an ice-cream shop in the North Pole. In winter. Trepassers will be shot and penguins turned away. I met Singaporean Christians who couldn't tell Abraham, Solomon and Moses apart. You know the type, they give you a blank look when you talk about the why God screwed around with Job and the Gospel of Judas or Thomas. All they know is that Christ was their savior, born in a stable, got cruxified . . . and hmm, that's it. Oh, and Moses split the sea and Noah was the guy who built a big boat called the Ark because it rained heavily. That's about it. The rest are learnt from watching Hollywood movies like Ben-Hur, Disney's Prince of Egypt (which sucks so much ass simply by having Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey sang their shit in it), Ten Commandments and seeing Charlton Heston talked to a burning bush and walked around in a robe.
Fact is, many Christians are scared. They are scared that the movie and book will reveal the complete frauds that they are when they couldn't even answer a simple question on their religion. Mary Magdalene not a prostitute and might be Christ's chosen successor instead of Peter? Horrors! It is an alien concept to them as to SpongeBob Squarepants is to me.
And to all pro-Dan Brown fans, stop using the DaVinci Code as your version of the New Bible to bash Christians. The Priory of Sion is most likely to be an elaborate hoax (see Discovery Channel's special on the Priory of Sion). If I hear another dumbass claiming that Mary was from the House of Benjamin and the Merovingian line in France can be traced to Christ, he better had some hard proof instead of simply quoting from the Da Vinci Code. Otherwise, he would feel my boot up his ass. Heaven knows, how Dan Brown could even say that Christ and Mary had a daughter called Sarah. Sarah? Sarah Lee (cake) is more like it.
P.S : Oh, and to all scared Christians, just one last word - " Dinosaurs". Try explaining it to me again.
posted by Captain Obvious at 8:05 PM
4 Comments:
From a pro da vinci:
These people got fables and history pretty much mixed up.
A collegue once told me about a king in history, thrown into a lion den and how he had mircalously survived blah blah blah and moral of the story? Work of Christ.
So I researched and couldn't find anything even close to his story.
Much later, realised his story came from the bible.
There is a major contradiction in the "Daniel and the lions" story which I don't know whether the Christians are aware of. God didn't help the other pious Christians thrown into the coliseum to feed the lions during Roman times so why the special treatment for Daniel? Daniel and the Lions is on par with Ali Baba and the 40 thieves in terms of historical vagueness.
oh.. so you knew the story too?
At least you could tell me he was Daniel. My collegue was practically listing down all the kings in the Roman empire from Constantine to Alexander or something. And end off with he can't remember the exact name.
duh.
Alexander is not a Roman King. He is Macedonia who lived hundreds of year before the birth of Christ. Duh. Slap some sense into your friend.
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