Election time! . . . in Laos

Surprised? Singapore is not the only country in the world which elections are due, you know. The Lao people voted last Sunday (30 Apr) to get 115 out of 175 candidates into their National Assembly. The main difference is of course there is only one party in Laos (shock! gasp! horror! Pleaasee - are we that different?) and everybody is basically voting for candidates which are all from the same party. The Lao even has two independents running but of course, they are all approved by the election commission. The way that the Lao people do it is quite interesting. Vientiane Capital has 22 candidates running for 15 seats. So the Lao voter actually crossed out 7 candidates which he or she does not want in the National Assembly. We can call this "negative voting".

On 30 Apr 06, every Lao person put on their best clothes to go to their polling stations to vote. These polling stations were usually at temples and schools. Women put on their traditional Lao sinhs except those who were pregnant. Men wore a proper collar shirt. Loud PA system blared patriotic and festive Lao songs. It was all a bit tacky but nice. It is kinda different from Singapore. When I voted years ago, people turned up in shorts and slippers to vote and went for their mee rebus breakfast after voting.


Which bring me to our own Singapore elections and politics - a topic which I dread but since it is once every 6 years, I would be deemed remiss if my blog does not at least mention it during its natural life.

I talked to some of the Lao people after they cast their votes and asked them what criterias they used when casting their votes for their choice of candidates. You see, I am curious as since there were no opposition parties in Laos to criticise government's policies and all candidates belong to the same party, election campaign must be based completely on individual's personality and charisma. Many Lao people admitted that they did not know the candidates at all and merely refer to their CVs which are pasted outside the polling center.

The normal poorly educated Lao's criterias of choosing strangers whom they never met for the important post of MPs are:

(a) He should be young since young people are supposed to have energy and bright ideas on how to reinvigorate the system;

(b) He should be educated since educated people are supposed to have special insights on how to reinvigorate the system;

(c) There should be more woman MPs in the National Assembly so to give the women a greater voice.

When I hear about these considerations, I almost laugh my ass off. Choosing a stranger you have never met simply based on their CVs pinned on the notice board? Just because they are young and some what educated? It almost sounded incredulous. What about which candidate has better ideas on how to revamp the healthcare plan and how to elevate the country out of the Least Developed Countries Status? How to improve the economy in which two-thirds of the population are living at less than US$2 a day? And how to make sure there are not so many cows running on the Lao roads that a driving CO has to dodge like a madman every morning so as to avoid making a steak sandwich out of those cows?

And then I remember something. Perhaps it does not sound that bad at all considering some of our own dumbass Singaporeans' criterias for choosing which political parties to choose from. Take Dawn Yeo for example. Ms Yeo was telling everyone on her blog to vote for the opposition this Saturday (in caps somemore) because although "yes, the PAP have a great track record, but we gotta give the opposition a chance to prove themselves too".

I think Dawn Yeo is the cutest thing alive with all her plastic surgery. As you probably guess by now, I am a bona fide sucker for any cute thing with legs and boobs. I will give her a kidney if she so much as wink at me. I also think that Dawn Yeo ought to be shot for asking people to vote for the opposition simply to "give them a chance to prove themselves".

Hey, dumbass Dawn, would you go out on a date with me and bring me home so that you can give me a chance to prove myself? Err . . No? Even though we have never met & I detest your religion with a passion & I hate all those fake dumbass friends you hang out with at Zouk or at the Gucci Fashion Show at Fullerton? Still no? No chance for me to prove myself even though I worship you? Just as I thought. Dawn Dumbass Yeo (DDY)'s logic train just hit a freaking mountain. Captain Obvious 1, Dawn Yeo 0. You might be pretty but who's your daddy now, bimbo?

Just as DDY would never jeopardize her future/reputation/mojo by giving me a chance, we should also not jeopardize our country's future by giving the reins to the opposition just so "they can prove themselves". Who the hell cares about them proving themselves? You vote these dumbasses in, the country is probably screwed for six years before we can put it right at the next election. Did you even look through the CVs of some of the opposition candidates? DDY's logic is warped. Easy for DDY to say vote opposition since her family is rich (mother jets about the world), can afford to party in the US for years and still able to party day and night at places like Gucci Fashion Show at Fullerton in Singapore. Does she know anything about public transport costs, healthcare and upgrading (does she even live in a flat?). The hypocrisy is stunning.

Once every six years, the moon turns blue and dumbasses/closet gays/freaks like DDY come out of the woods and give their political comments based on coffee shop chatter and discussions with "important" political personalities such as taxi drivers and some unknown dumbasses on idiotic forum like sammyboy. Worse, they run a blog and paste their politically ignorant ramblings, try to convince the world to see things their way as well as try to take cheap shots/low blows at the ruling party. Yawning Bread is a great example - run by a gay with an axe to grind against the ruling party for their conservative stance against gays. Come the elections, and BAM! Out came all the "insightful" (rambing) articles with hidden barbs aimed towards the government. Brilliant. NOT.

I take the uneducated Lao's style of voting anytime. At least they really want to vote the best qualified people into their system so as to improve their country. Some so called better eduated Singaporeans ought to be shot for voting for the opposition simply to "give them a chance to prove themselves" or"teach the government a lesson".