9.1% Growth - Round of Beer!
You heard of the figure of speech "oxymoron"? It is what happened when you add oxygen to carbon monoxide. Just kidding. Oxymoron is actually a conjunction of contradictory words e.g. " brave coward", "rich beggar", "military intelligence" (ha ha) and my favourite "civil war".
Why did I write about "oxymoron" today"? Because I just discovered its cousin in today's Straits Times. I called it by its chemical name - dumbass dioxide. 3 parts sulphur dioxide + 2 parts dumbass at 65 degrees burning = all BS.
You would have noticed from today's front page that Singapore's economy is "set to sizzle at 9.1% growth in the first quarter". 9.1%. Wow. To say that I am sceptical is to say that Michael Schumacher can drive fast. Or Channel 8 make bad shows. You know, most of us know what is going on here so economists should at least try not to insult our intelligence by making fantastic claims. It doesn't help to say that the estimates are based on the prior quarter on a seasonally adjusted, annualized basis. So what season you are using - winter? Stop trying to overwhelm us with obfuscating words designed primarily to cover the fact that you really don't know how the hell the figures come about. Just say"I have no clue where these people plucked the figures out from" and I would have tons of respect for you. Instead we have the following economists who keep saying the same things:
CIMB-GK's Economist - " This is the first time in years that we have seen such broad-based growth". Translation : I think the figures are plucked out of thin air but my job is on the line so I have to pretend to be knowledgeable about it. What can I say to make me sounds wise? Ah, I know. I will use the term "broad based growth" even though the construction industry has been bloody shrinking for years.
Standard Chartered Bank's economist - "Economy should slow in the second half when the US economy starts cooling, dampening global demand for electronics". Translation : I better cover my ass by making generalised comments. CO : You think?! Singapore's economy depends on US economy and global demand for electronics. Wow - I could swear I know that even without a god damn economic degree to tell me that. Can you believe the nerve of this guy? And this dipshit works for Standard Chartered Bank. No wonder StanChart blows ass nowadays. We should shoot all these hacks.
Hell, those economists might as well say it is 20% growth with free packets of chicken rice for everyone. The only way Singapore's economy could boom at 9.1% is if we discover oil beneath Sentosa.
And to make it worse, Singtel just laid off 200 of its workers in Australia. Wow, talk about contradiction in terms there. Dumbass dioxide anyone? Man, I am going to patent my new chemical discovery.
Why did I write about "oxymoron" today"? Because I just discovered its cousin in today's Straits Times. I called it by its chemical name - dumbass dioxide. 3 parts sulphur dioxide + 2 parts dumbass at 65 degrees burning = all BS.
You would have noticed from today's front page that Singapore's economy is "set to sizzle at 9.1% growth in the first quarter". 9.1%. Wow. To say that I am sceptical is to say that Michael Schumacher can drive fast. Or Channel 8 make bad shows. You know, most of us know what is going on here so economists should at least try not to insult our intelligence by making fantastic claims. It doesn't help to say that the estimates are based on the prior quarter on a seasonally adjusted, annualized basis. So what season you are using - winter? Stop trying to overwhelm us with obfuscating words designed primarily to cover the fact that you really don't know how the hell the figures come about. Just say"I have no clue where these people plucked the figures out from" and I would have tons of respect for you. Instead we have the following economists who keep saying the same things:
CIMB-GK's Economist - " This is the first time in years that we have seen such broad-based growth". Translation : I think the figures are plucked out of thin air but my job is on the line so I have to pretend to be knowledgeable about it. What can I say to make me sounds wise? Ah, I know. I will use the term "broad based growth" even though the construction industry has been bloody shrinking for years.
Standard Chartered Bank's economist - "Economy should slow in the second half when the US economy starts cooling, dampening global demand for electronics". Translation : I better cover my ass by making generalised comments. CO : You think?! Singapore's economy depends on US economy and global demand for electronics. Wow - I could swear I know that even without a god damn economic degree to tell me that. Can you believe the nerve of this guy? And this dipshit works for Standard Chartered Bank. No wonder StanChart blows ass nowadays. We should shoot all these hacks.
Hell, those economists might as well say it is 20% growth with free packets of chicken rice for everyone. The only way Singapore's economy could boom at 9.1% is if we discover oil beneath Sentosa.
And to make it worse, Singtel just laid off 200 of its workers in Australia. Wow, talk about contradiction in terms there. Dumbass dioxide anyone? Man, I am going to patent my new chemical discovery.
posted by Captain Obvious at 9:00 PM
1 Comments:
Most Singaporeans can't care less about the growth as long as their own income is growing.
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