Lao New Year (14 - 18 April) and things Lao people eat

Lao New Year, also known as Lao Pii Mai, falls on 14 to 18 April 2006. For those not familiar with Lao New Year, it is similar to the Thai festival of Songkran in which everyone throw water at each other to cleanse bad luck away. Lao New Year is the wildest part of the year here in sleepy Laos. Everywhere you go, there will be parties held outside the houses on the streets. There will be half naked drunk men wearing bras and panties dancing to hip music on tables. Not a pretty sight looking at fat men in bras and panties, I assure you. I also saw some guy in scuba gear once on the street last year. Trucks carrying armies of kids armed with supersoakers would engage in water fights on the streets like Pirates of the Caribbean. Some mean guy threw a plastic waterbomb at some kids. Oh wait, that was me. In short, it will be like Stars Wars Battlefront out there. If you walk on the streets, you are guaranteed to be wetter than a fish. Worse, some people threw icy water, flour and even paint. It is the one time in the year in which the Lao let their hair down and I do mean really down.

Most people leave Laos for the Lao New Year to avoid the chaos and basically avoiding "Lao people gone bad". Due to official commitments, I am "privileged" to be here to witness the chaos for the 2nd year in a row. Drats.

I dislike Lao New Year. Setthathirath road looks like a carnage scene from War of the Worlds. Oh, I appreciate the five straight days of holidays where I could catch up on sleep, play Stars Wars:Battlefront 2, finish my Harry Potter book and watch the entire series of Dai Chang Jin (Korea series) but I just hate dodging little girls who are hell bent on spraying me with their supersoakers. Most restaurants will be closed so foraging for food is going to be a problem. And the traffic. Like Thailand, this period of the year is when the traffic gets truly dangerous as people just throw water at motorcyclists causing them to swerve and crash. Many people died on the road during this period. Imagine, bleeding to death on the roads at the sound of revelry and water splashing. A real fun way to go. NOT.

I will post some pictures from last year and also from this year on this blog for posterity later.

Speaking about foraging for food, let me post some pictures of the stuff the Lao eat. (CO Alert : Digest your lunch proper first before reading further). The Lao people are tough and simple people. Like all developing nations, these people cook meals in the simplest ways and using little spices. All ingredients are natural and probably plucked from trees. An example - I just been to this Lao New Year party by the river over the weekend in which everyone eat this roasted calf which they put on a spit.

Look tasty? Not really though. First, there are no spices added. Second, the meat is pretty tough and unless you have teeth like sabretooth tigers, you will have no chance in hell in chewing the skin. I felt like Conan the Barbarian when I sliced off the meat from the roasted carcass myself. "ROOAAAR - SEE ME EAT THE MEAT OF MY HUNT! HA HA!" Some parts cannot be chewed through at all as the fat is pretty resistant to chewing.

See the Lao expert (not me) slicing the carcass down to its bones. You know, I am getting a pretty good education in cow parts in Laos.

On my way back from the party celebrations from the river, I stop by a wild-life market to take some pictures. The last time I came, the market was selling all kinds of rare and endangered animals from the forests e.g. civet cats and snakes. Before anyone started screaming blue murder at the Lao people for hunting these animals, let me remind everyone that Laos is a developing country for heaven's sake. The Lao tribesman have been hunting these animals for so long that it has became a tradition and way of living for them. More importantly, it is their only source of meagre income and also to barter trade for rice for their families up in the mountains. Animal rights lovers can shut it. Oh, by the way, these people eat dogs also. I tried it too and it is not too bad ( go try the grilled but please don't touch the steamed dog meat - it stinks). What are animal rights people and dog lovers going to do about that? Zilch. Na Na Na.


The famed and endangered Mekong Catfish. Look closely at the washing basin at the top and it should give you a good indication at the size of the fish. They are bloody huge, ain't they? Those squirmy things in sacks at the bottom are unfortunate snakes destined for someone's dinner.


Grilled rats on a stick, anyone?

Small dried sparrows and massive mushrooms. My driver bought quite a bit of those sparrows home for snacks.


Woman chopping things up and throwing things into a pot. Let's take a closer look at the pot.


Yep, that is the typical Lao stew. Welcome to Laos. Every part of a cow (such as spleen, liver, lung and heaven knows what) is throw into a pot to form a dark broth which tastes as "awesome" as it look. By awesome, I mean awful. Some people asked me why is it I lost weight in Laos. The answer should be obvious. I hope I did not ruin anyone's nice lunch at Delifrance or Starbucks. Stay tune for further updates on ant's eggs soup.