Tales of the Onion - Part V
I am so busy now I am practically swamped but the last tale of the Onion should be told to complete the Onion saga.
Onion knocked down a massive ornament in front of the office. With the company car. In broad daylight. So I have a big-ass, massive pot rolling outside my office (ROFL) and a company car with a dented bumper and busted tail-light. I have asked my staff to get someone to assess the damages so that Onion can decide whether he wants to pay all the repair costs or not. Onion is rich so he has agreed that if the cost is not too prohibitive, he will pay for it.
Obviously, someone up there does not want me to leave in peace.
Things got worse for Onion. He walked into my office with a strange expression today. By strange, I mean he looked like half pleased, half constipated and all awkward. He had a wry smile on his face as if he struck US$1 million lottery but the lottery master requires him to wrestle a sex-crazed gorilla in order to claim the prize. So, I asked him what's up and Onion said that he just discovered that his fiancee was seeing someone behind his back in Singapore and he just called off the wedding. I actually have a feeling that Onion was actually quite pleased that his fiancee was cheating on him.
Now that is fucking weird, isn't it? If I have a fiancee back home and we are about to get married and I discover that slutty two-shoes is seeing someone else behind my back, why would I be pleased about it? I would be choosing which weapon of choice to kill her with (I prefer a chainsaw). Why would anyone be pleased or glad that the wedding is off? At this point, someone may say, "maybe Onion is happy that the girl found true love?" Well, fuck true love. Two-timing girls who fuck the next guy within a month of him leaving the country for work overseas should be executed with a blunt spoon. As it was written, so it shall be done. Hmm, the Onion's soup deepens. Either he really believes in true love or he is fucking gay.
Anyway, the stock market is up and surging again. Don't ask me why. Two weeks ago, everyone is on the verge of jumping off buildings and now, they are buying shares and funds as if the world just discovered a source of alien energy. I am taking the profits to go to Beijing for a holiday. Especially since the Chinese are all gearing up for the Olympics and everyone is told not to be nasty but nice to foreign tourists. And after Beijing, maybe a short jaunt to London. Or Paris. Or New York. I have not quite decided.
Onion knocked down a massive ornament in front of the office. With the company car. In broad daylight. So I have a big-ass, massive pot rolling outside my office (ROFL) and a company car with a dented bumper and busted tail-light. I have asked my staff to get someone to assess the damages so that Onion can decide whether he wants to pay all the repair costs or not. Onion is rich so he has agreed that if the cost is not too prohibitive, he will pay for it.
Obviously, someone up there does not want me to leave in peace.
Things got worse for Onion. He walked into my office with a strange expression today. By strange, I mean he looked like half pleased, half constipated and all awkward. He had a wry smile on his face as if he struck US$1 million lottery but the lottery master requires him to wrestle a sex-crazed gorilla in order to claim the prize. So, I asked him what's up and Onion said that he just discovered that his fiancee was seeing someone behind his back in Singapore and he just called off the wedding. I actually have a feeling that Onion was actually quite pleased that his fiancee was cheating on him.
Now that is fucking weird, isn't it? If I have a fiancee back home and we are about to get married and I discover that slutty two-shoes is seeing someone else behind my back, why would I be pleased about it? I would be choosing which weapon of choice to kill her with (I prefer a chainsaw). Why would anyone be pleased or glad that the wedding is off? At this point, someone may say, "maybe Onion is happy that the girl found true love?" Well, fuck true love. Two-timing girls who fuck the next guy within a month of him leaving the country for work overseas should be executed with a blunt spoon. As it was written, so it shall be done. Hmm, the Onion's soup deepens. Either he really believes in true love or he is fucking gay.
Anyway, the stock market is up and surging again. Don't ask me why. Two weeks ago, everyone is on the verge of jumping off buildings and now, they are buying shares and funds as if the world just discovered a source of alien energy. I am taking the profits to go to Beijing for a holiday. Especially since the Chinese are all gearing up for the Olympics and everyone is told not to be nasty but nice to foreign tourists. And after Beijing, maybe a short jaunt to London. Or Paris. Or New York. I have not quite decided.
posted by Captain Obvious at 6:57 PM
3 Comments:
Maybe onion is also 2 timing someone in laos? Though I can't imagine who...
I had a feeling that in 3 years time, Onion will look like a potato. Maybe you should introduce him to the boss of novotel before you head back.
Maybe onion is also 2 timing someone in laos? Though I can't imagine who...
I had a feeling that in 3 years time, Onion will look like a potato. Maybe you should introduce him to the boss of novotel before you head back.
U so mean (giggle like a gay).
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