Quote from Matrix Revolution

I was watching Matrix Revolution the other night and I recalled the following quote from the final climatic battle between Neo and Agent Smith in the rain.

Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why, why do you do it? Why, why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something, for more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is, do you even know? Is it freedom, or truth, perhaps peace, could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson, vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose! And all of them as artificial as the matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it Mr. Anderson, you must know it by now. You can't win, it's pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. Anderson, why? Why do you persist?

Neo's reply to Agent Smith is pretty neat. Although the whole movie sucks, it is worth watching just to see the reply.

Moonlight Shadow

The past week has been punishing for me. Try to finish work by 8.30p pm and then rush down to NUH to see my dad. Bring him a copy of Lianhe Wanbao and a cup of hot tea. Kudos to NUH staff who, although the rules say that visitors must leave after 8 pm, allow visitors to stay with their loved ones through the night. Some rules are worth throwing away.

On Wednesday, I got down too late and dad was already sleeping. In the darkness of the ward and with pale moonlight streaming in from the window shutters, I thought my dad looked old and shrunken on the bed. The ward looked extra depressing in the dead of the night. At one corner, a half retarded patient was wheezing badly.

It had not been the nicest of days. Someone stole my dad's new handphone (s$300+) in his ward cabinet. My dad was so mad that he almost had a fit when he discovered the theft. Had to calm him down and accompany to the police station when he ranted at the poor police officers on duty. But you know what is the best thing? The theft made him so mad that he was energetic for hours.

He is due to release tomorrow and doctors would have to decide whether he can go for the bypass. As he is old and has a whole host of medical problems, doctors reluctantly told me that chances of failure of the ops (thereby resulting in death or a stroke) is high i.e. 10-15%. For me. the odds are still good.

- - - - -

Tonight, before I went to my dad, I had dinner with a old friend from NUS. I don't have too many friends from NUS, so he is someone special to me. He asked me out to catch up on old times and asked about my dad. I was happy to meet up with him. However, I am disappointed because half way through at Pepper Lunch, he started selling me something off a MLM (pyramid) scheme. I never thought he would do this really. I turned him down as politely as I can since I don't have spare cash to buy anything anyway.

Sometimes I wish things didn't have to turn out this way. All I want is to sit somewhere and read a book in peace instead of worry about money, life and death.

- - - - -

Night at the Hospital

NUH is all drama.

For one thing, the A&E is a mega dose of supersuck. I don't even know why they bother if an A&E if it takes 2 hour for a patient to get diagnosed by a doctor. When I sent my father to the emergency ward after his heart attack on Deppavali, my heart sunk when I saw the notice which said, "Average time to see the doctor : 1 to 2 hours".

It was the same two years ago and obviously, there has been no shit improvement to the service at all. The nurse at the reception also spoke absolutely broken English which made me want to kungfu kick her in her fat face.

After I settled my dad in the ward, I went to the lobby to the 7-11 to buy newspaper and food for my dad. A comical fight broke out in the lobby between three old ah-beng and a fat taxi driver. Apparently, the taxi gently knocked one of the old ah-beng down at the taxi stand and the whole gang of old ah-bengs took umbrage. The fat asses taxi-driver took a picture of the old
ah bengs and the whole gang became agitated. Lots of shouting ensued.

And then they fought. Or tried to fight. Rather, it was a comical dance between four old men who looked like they were dancing para para at the arcade. Lots of threatening hand movement and running in circles around the lobby but nobody even landed any blows. If this took place in the arcade, these old men would be scoring lots of combos and getting high scores at dance dance revolution.

So this took five whole minutes and the police who was stationed at the NUH was absolutely no where to be seen. Incredible. Useless hospital and absent policemen who couldn't hear shouting and fighting a few paces away.

Death of a Salesman

I am sick and stressed. What a brilliant start to getting back to the job in Singapore.

The worst thing is that as a senior, I am supposed to guide other juniors along. But this senior who has been working overseas for so long knows next to nothing about the current working culture. It is so embarrassing, having to consult your juniors when they are already so busy.

I do hate to be a burden to others. This is actually my worst nightmare. Being useless and a hindrance / burden to others.

Maybe that is why 95% of my batch of intake has already quit the job. I need to hang on till I get my bonus at least.