A nice surprise but many nasty ones

Work this week has been horrific even by the normal, average crappy standard. Going at around midnight everyday, and continue working on your laptop till 2.3o am; catch a few hours of sleep and rush off to work by 8.30 am is not doing my mental and physical state any good.

The nice surprise is that I got a extraordinary large bonus this month. If I am still in Laos, my pay check this month will have enabled me to almost pay for another car straight.

Everytime my pay check comes in, my mind swims with things I could buy. Clothes from topline stores such as Massimo Dutti; transformers masterpiece editions (Starscream and Optimus Prime, OMG) that I have been eyeing for months at that shop in Wheelock Place; that Audrey Hepburn wall ornament from IKEA; and new sofa for my home . . . etc. That said, I have the tendency of walking out empty handed everytime I walked into a toy, fashion or book stores. I just spent hours around Wheelock place, walking between Zara, Borders and the toy shop, and I just couldn't bring myself to buy something. The thought that I should be saving the money and buy something really useful instead bugged me like an annoying ghost that wouldn't go away. Sort of like the furry alien in Stephen Chow's CJ-7 movie or a new Jackie Chan movie. Annoying but you can't really pinpoint why. You should like it but you felt there is something wrong. For one thing, Jackie Chan isn't really that funny.

Another thing that has been bothering me is what some bosses have been telling their employees. You read this in magazine all the time. How magazines droolingly serenade some bosses for being "results oriented". These bosses always say "I don't care how my employees do it as long as they get the results".

This by the way is the number one reason why titanic screw-ups happen. The kind of screw ups that you thought will never happen especially in big institutions like NKF or major banks.

In case you missed reading the financial news for the past months - in January 2008, the greatest financial scandal of all time happened in France. One rogue trader from the biggest bank in France, Societe Generale, managed to lose 5 billion euros. Yeah. 5 BILLION euros. That is the entire GDP of countries like Laos.

The trader's name is Jerome Kerviel and he is only 31 years old. Imagine a trade that is only one year younger than me traded and lost 5 billion euros. Mr Kerviel had been accused of making fradulent trades on behalf of Societe Generale which bet that European markets would rise. Of course, the stock market turned sour and went down south resulting in Mr Kerviel's trades becoming pieces of white paper.

How did this happen? Why wasn't this detected? Surely in a bank, there are like tons of control and oversight that make sure the minute a trader lost a certain amount, the account will immediately shut down. How did a bank miss 5 billion euros? It is not exactly spare change that you put in your wallet to take the bus.

No one has the full story as investigation is still ongoing. For sure, there are plenty of red faces and egg throwing around. There is a strong rumour that the bank has already lost 5 billion euros due to the US subprime crisis but conveniently blamed it on the one trader. However, it is likely the reason is a far simpler one.

Most observers believed that Kerviel's bosses just don't care as long as Kerviel keeps producing positive results. And when your bosses tell you that they don't give a shit as long as you produce results, they are effectively telling you to consider committing fraud if necessary. This is dangerous and an invitation for trouble.

Never tell your employees that you don't care as long as they produce the goods. They may just lose 5 billion euros for you.

Be Kind Rewind

"I am Bill Murray; you are everyone else."

This is a movie that you either love or hate. I saw a couple disappearing from the cinema within ten minutes. I am not sure what they were expecting, perhaps Spiderman 4. I liked the movie because it is a movie that hits me at a personal level. For one, I have watched almost all the movies the two losers are trying to remake or "swede". Lion King, Ghostbusters, RoboCop and the rest. The nostalgia is soothing- like your favourite comfort food. You just can't go wrong watching goofy remakes of Ghostbusters. Gatekeeper and the keymaster. LOL!

Secondly, I have always appreciate low-budget movies and the creative ways people do when they don't have money for special effects. I mean, holy shit, they photocopy their faces to overcome technical obstacles shooting day for night. Genius.

The movie is largely a tribute to the dying artistry of the movie industry; dying because of the influx of money and technology. Be Kind Rewind is full of heart, a rarity in today's movies nowadays.

Just like Akelah and the Bee is a must-watch for students, Saving Private Ryan for our NSmen; Be Kind Rewind is a must-watch for any budding movie makers out there.

I am glad that most people in the theatre enjoyed it. It is not often that you hear applauses after a movie.

Final Harry Potter Movie to be made in two parts

It is official - the last Harry Potter Book "The Deathly Hallows" will be made into two movies. So the book series will have seven book and the movie series will have eight movies. The official reason is that the 608-pages book is too big to be cramped into one three-hour movie.

There are of course three challenges:

(a) All the actors and actresses are already too fucking old. I already shudder at the thought of seeing Harry Potter with a moustache in the upcoming 6th movie "The Half Blood Prince". Already, the stubble around his chin is obvious by the 5th movie. Can you imagine what he would be like in the 7th and 8th movie by 2010? Harry Potter would have a beard. They would also have difficulty hiding Hermonie's boobs by then. Ron would look like . . . well still Ron; because the child actor looks like a unwashed, homeless hobo half the time so that is ok.

Looking like a homeless hobo no matter how old he is. Sigh.

Luna Lovegood would be . . . .hmm well, also Luna Lovegood since the actress Evanna Lynch looks half mad (although surprisingly adorable, judging from a insane person's perspective) even off-screen.

She looks like she will start barking at the moon. In other words, like Rupert for Ron, Evanna is a perfect Luna till the last movie.

(b) So what do they call the two movies? "Harry Potter : Deathly Hallows - Part 1 and Harry Potter : Deathly Hallows - Part 2?" Terrible. If they have any sense, they should call it "Harry Potter - Deathly Hallows and Harry Potter - Battle of Hogwarts". Or better still, they should call it "Harry Potter - I am the nitwit who became annoying in the 5th book and should have been killed ages ago but saved by my friends, Doby, the entire Order of the Phoenix, a dragon, Luna Lovegood and her rabbit patronus, Neville "Metal Gear Snake Eater" Longbottom, and fuck, even Draco's mother helped me."

(c) I still say they should kill off Harry Potter at the end of Deathly Hallows. Yeah, that irritating fucker with a scar on his forehead should be killed long, long ago. Him and his his fat ass owl (who at least died early in Book 7) - the owl's only function in the book is to deliver letters. And a broom to Harry Potter. If I direct the last movie, it would be centred around Neville Longbottom who killed the snake. Neville is HARDCORE.

Till today, the saccherine sweet ending to Book 7 still gives me diabetes. Urgh.

And of course, Rowling's announcement that Dumbledore is gay still leaves me a bad taste in my mouth. They might as well add a gay scene involving Dumbledore in the last movie just to up the ratings. Ok, now that will be weird.

Fear and Loathing

I think I am going to lay off the stock market for a while. The situation is getting truly ridiculous.

The fifth largest bank in the US, Bear Stearns, just collapsed. Essentially, the bank just called the US Federal on Monday saying: "Sorry, we are not going to open for business on Monday because the minute the door open, we are going to lose everything." Apparently, normal people have been pulling their money out of the bank in droves. Sensing a meltdown, the Feds immediately arranged for JP Morgan to buy over Bear Stearns at US$2 per share.

At its prime, Bear Stearns' market share is worth US$3.8 billion. Now, it is sold to J P Morgan at the basement/firesale/typical Myphosis/Great Singapore Sale/Garang Kuni price of US$236 million.

It is equivalent for a LV bag that costs S$3800 but is sold at S$236 instead. It shows how desperate is the situation at Bear Stearns.

How many more banks are in trouble? No one knows for sure. Perhaps our own local banks? The situation is not unthinkable.

It is time to follow our grandparents' example and put our money in biscuit tins and hide in the garden.

What happens if . . . .

I was watching the Malaysian Elections results unfold before me when I thought "Hmm, tomorrow is going to be a bad-ass day for the Malaysia Stock Market". In case, you are missing the latest news, the ruling coalition lost 5 states (Kelantan, Selangor, Penang,Kedah, Perak) to opposition. It is like saying Singapore lost 3 more constituencies besides Potong Pasir and Hougang. Unthinkable.

True enough, the KL Stock Exchange took a hammering the next day. The KL Composite Index dropped 10% by afternoon until the stock exchange triggered its 10% loss rule and STOPPED TRADING. Yeah, it fucking stopped trading because the whole stock exchange practically gave up. Imaging losing 10% of your money within just a few hours for no good reasons. Foam will appear at my mouth.

In a few years time, as we go for our own general elections, I hope Singaporeans will remember what happened in Malaysia. If the opposition sweeps a couple of constituencies, the damage to our reputation as a politically and economically stable country will be shaken. I for one, don't want to look at our stock market taking the biggest hit in the century.