Ah, finally know how to link to a youtube video.

Anyway, this is probably the most inspirational video on youtube ever. To say I was deeply impressed is an understatement.

Remember to click the "watch in high quality" option.

Allswell is not well

There is a commercial running on TV that made my blood boil. If I got cut now, my blood would drip onto the carpet burning a hole through ala Aliens. You must have seen the commercial - it is some crappy Allswell herbal drink. I think the couple is in some foodcourt (Vivocity - I swear) when the girl stops the guy from ordering his teh-ping.

Girl : Here, got this for you (hands over the herbal drink).
Guy: (eyes it suspiciously) What is this?
Girl: Drink lah. It is good for your health.
Guy: Eee. Don't want. Uncle, get me one teh-ping . . . .
Girl: (wave frantically at Uncle) Uncle, no need! no need!
Guy: Why you want me to drink this?
Girl : (smile coyly) Because I love you.
Guy : (smile shyly and drinks the shit)

GAY

This commercial is gayer than the pink font I used for the word above. I think the only reason the guy is smiling shyly when he drinks the shit is because the girl is grinding her high-heel shoe into his big toe. Either that, or he is gay.

Or most likely because he just wants to get the SHIT OVER WITH. He is probably thinking "love me, yeah lah yeah lah. Better drink this shit before she nags some more. Wait till she f#% off home then I go order a bucket of KFC and all the teh-ping I can drink. " Yeah, that is how all Singaporean guys think, by the way. Don't think your love can change the world. Your love so strong, go hunt down Mas Selamat lah!

Girl: Heh, go hunt down Mas Selamat.
Guy: Wah, why leh?
Girl: Because I love you.
Guy: YOU GO HUNT YOURSELF! SIAO AH! YOUR LOVE VERY POWDERFUL LAH??!?

Girl: Here, drink this.
Guy: What is this?
Girl: Allswell Herbal tea. Good for you!
Guy: Don't want lah. I want my teh-ping . . .
Girl: You drink this better.
Guy: Why?
Girl: (smile coyly) Because I love you.
Guy: (smile shyly) Well, I love you more. SO DRINK THIS SHIT YOU BOUGHT, BITCH.

The arrogance of Singaporean girls who think their love can change everything is stunning. If you guy wants teh-ping, let him have it. Unless you want a public brawl inside a food court which ends with one party going into A&E with a chopstick in one eye.

Olympics

There are many who think we shouldn't be proud of a trio of China-born Chinese winning the table tennis women's team silver medal for Singapore. Their sentiments are understandable. On paper, the achievement doesn't have the "Singapore" imprint at all.


One can always argue both ways. But I would like to highlight that India, with a population of one billion, only produces one gold medal (yeah, just one) at the current Olympics. In fact, it is the FIRST TIME India wins any individual sports event at the Olympics. When I was in India, the whole country was jumping up and down at the news that Abhinav Bindra finally brought a gold medal home for an individual event - air rifle. I can't go anywhere without someone mentioning Abhinav. Yawn. To be perfectly honest, how the hell did shooting at flying plastic plates (or is it clay ducks) become an Olympic Sport? If that is the case, I want the pS2 game - Grand Theft Auto :San Andreas to be a Olympic event. I can be very good when I am beating up grannies with a leadpipe to steal their money, I tell you. Man grandmothers lay dead at my feet when they refused to hand over their purses in the PS2 Game. OMG - I almost had an orgasm just thinking about the best players from the whole world converging in the video game to beat up each other and grannies for money and an Olympic gold medal.

The mystery of why India, with a population of one billion, sucks so much at all individual sports is never quite explained. Government's attitude is one, money is another. In a country where there is overwhelming poverty, the government doesn't not look good when funding sports. But what is certain is that if a one-billion country could only produce one gold medallist for donkey years, Singapore (4 million population) has almost no chance in hell. We have hardly any sporting tradition (unlike say Azerbaijan in weight lifting) to speak of and government budget for sports has always been tight. At least the table tennis win is a start and will prompt the government to spend more money on table tennis. Ultimately, we have to specialise (core sports) and get foreign talent to augment what local sportsmen lack. It is a fact of life. Countries like Laos would happily do it except they of course, lack the money to attract foreigners.

Someday, perhaps Singapore-born Singaporean can do us proud by getting a medal at an Olympic event. And I don't mean video games like Guitar Hero. But till that day comes, we need foreign talent to boost the sporting profile of Singapore, attract more commerical sponsors and Singaporeans to take sports seriously as a career. Till that day comes, I will be practising "Welcome to my Jungle" on Guitar Hero on expert mode.

The smell of India

I am sure most people have tried sweet and sour fish in their lives, one time or the other.

I just met an Indian that smells exactly like sweet and sour fish. And hell, it is not pleasant. More sour than sweet. In fact, it is as if the fish had already rotted but the cook still insists on adding sugar and tomato ketchup to the whole shebang of a dish until viola! 90% sour and 10% sweet fish - Indian style.

This is my 5th time to India in less than a year and I am heartily exhausted of the place. Unlike Tokyo and New York, you just can't move around the place on your own. People run to you, begging for money or just stalk you and want to be "your friend". Since being stabbed in a dark alley is not my way of making friends, I think I will pass, no thanks. A unaccompanied Chinese guy sticks out like a 50 year-old white man with a young Thai boy walking down the street in Bangkok.

And the smells. The smells assault you the minute you step out of your hotel. Smells from unwashed bodies, spices, curries being cooked somewhere and all these smells marinated by the heat. Today isn't so bad, because it drizzles gently for half an hour and cleanses the city.

Going out for dinner. Hope it is not curries again.

Note to Self - Foodcourts to avoid

This is just a friendly reminder note to myself:

Never should I try those $5 set Japanese lunch from foodcourts again. Yeah, those Japanese lunch from Food Junction that includes a bowl of diluted miso soup and a slice of bad watermelon. Not to mention a horrible, horrible Unagi/Katsu Don/Ramen. Those kind of ramen that had no taste and suspicious pieces of karage chicken floating on it. And the Unagi. One word: horrors. Most unagi from the foodcourts still have bones in them. We are not talking about soft bones but thick, stiff ones that can choke fat cats like Garfield.

Speaking of which, I wonder why our foodcourts get so highly praised. Most foodcourts I been to are substandard. The fare they serve can be likened to the kind of food one expect from the Army. Or Prison. Or Army Prison. In fact, I had had better food during my days in the army. The foodcourt at Tanglin Mall was especially butt awful. Don't ever wander there again. The one at Cineleisure basement is worse and ought to be fire-bombed for sheer insult to gastronomy and human dignity. Where do I start? There is practically nothing worth eating in these two places. The stalls sell the blandest of beef noodles, Yong Tau Foo, chicken rice and what-have-you. Ooh, and the minced meat noodles? Rat poison. Seriously, where is the pride? If I see any more of these foodie shows where the hosts like Michelle Chia say fodcourt food is good, I will firebomb the place.

Edit : The Cineleisure basement food court is closed for reburishment today! About damn time since everything sucks.

9/11

I was asked to go to New York on September 11 to take up the assignment. September 11? Now, if there is ever a shitty time to fly into New York, that will be it. I fully expect to see US SWAT teams with body armour scrutinising every non-whites. Since I am not into getting into fisticuffs with US SWAT teams, I have asked to go there slightly later. I will also be spending my Xmas in New York, which should be spectacular. Finally, a white Xmas dodging New York shoppers and crazy muggers trying to rob me blind - something to look forward to I guess.