Louis Vuitton Kasbek PM

I thought I visit purseblog.com just to check what new fangled rubbish LV has come up with to make my life miserable. Bad mistake. LV rolled out a "man-bag" (ho ho ho) in Dec 2005 called the LV Kasbek PM. Priced at US$1470, women everywhere are raving about how sleek it looked, and how good their men would look carrying this "man-bag". Check out the following comments on the bag:

Lady A : If men in this world only realized how sexy it is to carry a sleek designer bag, they may begin to understand us a little better. So for the small amount of men that are out there reading this, do us all a favor and keep in mind that a) we like when you dress nice and b) you are allowed to wear a nice bag and still be considered manly!

Lady B : I am trying SO hard to get my boyfriend to carry a man-bag. This one may find it's way into our home!

I feel so sad when I read the comments. Hoping your man will carry a "man-bag" and thinking that he will look sexy with it (barf) is certainly the most wrong and deluded idea since T T Durai thought" Maybe I will take Straits Times to court for defamation suit even though the gold tap, first class travel stories are all true. Heh Heh, I am so smart." It is also like calling your son Romeo and expecting him to have a normal life (another blog entry later).

Ok, I will make this entry short since I am stating the obvious here (what else from CO) and the more I read these women's comments, the more I need to lay down with a wet towel over my head.

First rule : One word : GAY. If a man carry a "man-bag", he is not manly, he is gay. If a man is carrying a LV "man-bag", he is a closeted man who will be SO gay in the future. There is almost no exception. Woman think man who carry "man-bags" are cute. The obvious reality which women refuse to accept is that men who wear Prada lace-ups, Hugo Boss flat-front pants and Paul Smith dress shirt and cuff links into a muscle T-shirt and carry "man-bags" are 100% gay. If your boyfriend or husband start lingering outside a LV shop window, don't be happy for him. Fear the worst.

Second rule : A man who spent US$1470 on a "man-bag" ought to be shot and have his body flogged. After flogging, shoot him again. Rinse and repeat.

Third rule : Anybody who coined the word "metrosexual" for this bag should receive a helluva of a beatdown from the rest of mankind (the remaining straight ones). Honestly, the word did more damage to man's pride in the last decade than a hundred commercials from David Beckham. By inventing the word, the British journalist Michael Simpson massacred the English lexicon (witness the proliferation of BS terms for men such as retrosexual and technosexual) and gave ammunition to woman to embarass their men by comparing them to metrosexual symbols such as David Beckham, Brad Pitt (with his blond plaits as Achilles in Troy)and Ben Affleck.

By the way, Brad Pitt blows as Achilles. Midway throught the movie, I half expected Achilles to whip out a LV handbag and fling it at Hector to confuse him. I was also praying for the Trojan horse to topple and crush Brad Pitt's blond gay ass (and his LV handbags) instead.

To all woman, look. These men are handsome and looked good in anything. If your man is not Brad Pitt material, carrying a LV man-bag and forcing him to wear plaits or pony tail won't make him Beckhamesque. Trust me, other men will laugh at him. If I really wants "to get in touch with my feminine side", I eat chocolates. This is about as close to a feminine side all men should go. Anything beyond that is pink territory.

Back to the LV Kasbek PM bag.

CO's verdict : The only way this bag could be anymore gay, it is for it to be pink. With a Hello Kitty on the cover. I don't even know whether this is a briefcase or a woman's handbag. I rather carry a plastic bag than this latest fashion disaster or should I say, LV's latest attempt to reduce men to "metrosexuals". If you are a straight man, you should too. Otherwise Rule 2 applies.