MIW.COM.SG
I was informed by MINDEF to go renew my overseas work permit. Ok. In the letter, I was told to go to www.miw.com.sg to do so. Ok. What do I see when I got to www.miw.com.sg? An absolutely rubbish website filled with entertainment news (Shanghai Film Festival opens! Who gives a damn?), Sports & Fitness, and how man could look good for their dates. I thought some gay activist had hacked into MINDEF's website and created his own version of MIW (Men in Workslacks).
Alarmed, I called up MINDEF to tell them that we have a problem. The nice (but frankly bored) receptionist told me that some commercial business bought over the website www.miw.com.sg some time ago. She sounded like she had repeated this message to countless alarmed Singaporean reservists and would like nothing more to choke the next guy who called her on the phone.
My fears allayed, I began to take a closer look at www.miw.com.sg. MIW stands for making it work for the urban men. Making what work exactly? Is something broken which I am unaware of? Maybe "urban men" need some gut transplants to stiffen their spines. I was excited.
But nay, this website is for the "metrosexual urban" men. In other words, I am not welcomed. E.g. MIW Style, with its motto "Looking Good" seeking to transform "boring" engineers into stylish dates. Wow, way to go Champs! Girls would surely go for engineer guys with so much gel on their hair that it would remain straight and true in a typhoon. And we all know that desirable metrosexual men must always be wearing a shirt which leaves the first button unbuttoned! (I am using sarcasm here for the slow). Can you spell P-O-S-E-R-S? It is times like this that I felt like retreating to a cave and just danced round the fire in my bearskin since everybody in this world are hellbent into transforming normal, dumpy Singaporean guys like me into cool "metrosexuals". I don't want to be a metrosexual. I don’t want to do my hair up till I looked like Sharkboy nor wear clothes which expose chest hairs. I don't want to carry a LV bag. Stay away from my cave before I budgeon any metrosexual (aka gay) stylists to death with my prehistoric stone club.
Ah, but a metrosexual website would not be complete without pandering to some girls, would it? So they put up pictures of five girls and asked them "What is the one thing you wish a guy would do for you?"
I don't really expect them to be honest and say" Ooh, I want my man to buy me a LV bag and maybe some diamonds. Maybe also whisk me to New York for shopping and dinner at Paris". We all know that is what girls want from their men. Hell, I would want the same if I have a girlfriend which is filthy rich- maybe substitute the LV bag and diamonds for an Xbox 360 and a ticket to the World Cup in Germany.
But 2 out 5 women gave an answer which perplexed me. They wanted their men to make them a romantic home-cooked dinner all by himself. Before you go AWWW, shucks, that's so sweet . . . DON'T. What is it with Singaporean girls wanting their men to cook a romantic dinner for them? We can't cook. Hell, Singaporean girls can't cook either. Cooking is hard and girls should stop asking their men to cook simply because they are too lazy and incompetent to do so. I have seen the garbage some Singaporean girls produce at home economics classes. Singaporean girls have problems cooking edible rice much less cook a proper meal. And baking cookies doesn’t count. My niece baked me cookies from her home economics class once. The day cookies constitute as a proper meal is the day I move to a cave somewhere in outback Australia and be a hermit. And her cookies suck.
Singaporean men's buds are ruined by years in the army where everything (and I do mean everything) tastes like mutton. "But it is the efforts that count!" I hear girls screamed. Look, we might promise gullible girls we will cook a romantic meal for them but what we do is to ask our mum or maid to help. You think Singaporean men know how to go to the wet market to choose a fresh fish? (for that matter, do Singaporean girls know how?) We wouldn't know the first thing what to do with the fish. Our mothers diced and sliced the food and the most men could do is to throw them in a pot or place the steak into the microwave. What's the point of cooking a romantic dinner again? Grow up, girls. You can't cook, we can't cook - so let's go to the hawker center already. Cut out the homemade romantic dinner BS and ask for LV bags instead. I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THAT.
Alarmed, I called up MINDEF to tell them that we have a problem. The nice (but frankly bored) receptionist told me that some commercial business bought over the website www.miw.com.sg some time ago. She sounded like she had repeated this message to countless alarmed Singaporean reservists and would like nothing more to choke the next guy who called her on the phone.
My fears allayed, I began to take a closer look at www.miw.com.sg. MIW stands for making it work for the urban men. Making what work exactly? Is something broken which I am unaware of? Maybe "urban men" need some gut transplants to stiffen their spines. I was excited.
But nay, this website is for the "metrosexual urban" men. In other words, I am not welcomed. E.g. MIW Style, with its motto "Looking Good" seeking to transform "boring" engineers into stylish dates. Wow, way to go Champs! Girls would surely go for engineer guys with so much gel on their hair that it would remain straight and true in a typhoon. And we all know that desirable metrosexual men must always be wearing a shirt which leaves the first button unbuttoned! (I am using sarcasm here for the slow). Can you spell P-O-S-E-R-S? It is times like this that I felt like retreating to a cave and just danced round the fire in my bearskin since everybody in this world are hellbent into transforming normal, dumpy Singaporean guys like me into cool "metrosexuals". I don't want to be a metrosexual. I don’t want to do my hair up till I looked like Sharkboy nor wear clothes which expose chest hairs. I don't want to carry a LV bag. Stay away from my cave before I budgeon any metrosexual (aka gay) stylists to death with my prehistoric stone club.
Ah, but a metrosexual website would not be complete without pandering to some girls, would it? So they put up pictures of five girls and asked them "What is the one thing you wish a guy would do for you?"
I don't really expect them to be honest and say" Ooh, I want my man to buy me a LV bag and maybe some diamonds. Maybe also whisk me to New York for shopping and dinner at Paris". We all know that is what girls want from their men. Hell, I would want the same if I have a girlfriend which is filthy rich- maybe substitute the LV bag and diamonds for an Xbox 360 and a ticket to the World Cup in Germany.
But 2 out 5 women gave an answer which perplexed me. They wanted their men to make them a romantic home-cooked dinner all by himself. Before you go AWWW, shucks, that's so sweet . . . DON'T. What is it with Singaporean girls wanting their men to cook a romantic dinner for them? We can't cook. Hell, Singaporean girls can't cook either. Cooking is hard and girls should stop asking their men to cook simply because they are too lazy and incompetent to do so. I have seen the garbage some Singaporean girls produce at home economics classes. Singaporean girls have problems cooking edible rice much less cook a proper meal. And baking cookies doesn’t count. My niece baked me cookies from her home economics class once. The day cookies constitute as a proper meal is the day I move to a cave somewhere in outback Australia and be a hermit. And her cookies suck.
Singaporean men's buds are ruined by years in the army where everything (and I do mean everything) tastes like mutton. "But it is the efforts that count!" I hear girls screamed. Look, we might promise gullible girls we will cook a romantic meal for them but what we do is to ask our mum or maid to help. You think Singaporean men know how to go to the wet market to choose a fresh fish? (for that matter, do Singaporean girls know how?) We wouldn't know the first thing what to do with the fish. Our mothers diced and sliced the food and the most men could do is to throw them in a pot or place the steak into the microwave. What's the point of cooking a romantic dinner again? Grow up, girls. You can't cook, we can't cook - so let's go to the hawker center already. Cut out the homemade romantic dinner BS and ask for LV bags instead. I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THAT.
posted by Captain Obvious at 8:49 PM
1 Comments:
Right. I am one of those who will DEFINITELY ask for an LV.
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