World Cup II and Vietnam in the early 90's
Many Singaporean girls have been asking why guys could just leave their girlfriends for a month to watch World Cup and what was the fascination about 22 men (sigh) chasing a ball. A few local guy bloggers tried (with a hint of exasperation) to explain and wrote like an entire freaking page listing football statistics and comparing football to other sports to show its uniqueness. May the Good Football God bless these guys for their patience in trying to sing songs to cows. Look, people. Don't waste time trying to explain this to girls. We don't understand LV bag and its different stitchings, girls don’t understand football. It is in our genes. I have heard some girls said this in the pub "Why is David Beckham playing for England? I thought he was with Real Madrid." Instant recipient of the CO's Dumbass Maximus Medal. I will break it down real simple for girls who already started bitching about the lack of attention from their guys when we are, oh I don't know, ONLY 5 DAYS into the WC. The ultimate truth is:
WE DON’T LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS FOOTBALL. HA HA HA!
Seriously, guys wait on their girls like manservants (aka male bitches) for four years and when they wanted to take some time off to watch the only sport they like with their old friends from the Army/JC/University, girls start to bitch about the lack of attention? Attention whores, all of them. Wait till England vs Brazil comes around. You girls won't be able to get your guys to save you from a burning house.
"Help, the house is burning!"
"Hmmm, later lah, honey. Stupid Owen just hit the bar. Wah lau eh!"
Oh, and here's one important tip for girls. You should not be mad if your guy asked to watch football with his buddies. In fact, be happy. You should instead be concerned if your guy DOES NOT and show zero interest in football. You know what they say about guys who don't watch football and enjoy taking long walks in the evenings? Can you say BROKEBACK?
Done laughing. Time to watch World Cup. Here's an entry I wrote recently when my New Zealander friend visited me.
VIETNAM IN THE 90'S
My New Zealander friend (let's call her NJ) is a Chinese born in New Zealand. She works for the UN and thus has to go around the world to problem spots. Her first assignment was in Hongkong to manage the Vietnamese boat people who landed in Hong Kong in the 80's. It was of course, an emotional time. For those not aware of the historical background of the boat people, this is CO's brief history lesson. In 1979, Vietnam fought a war with China and many Vietnamese Chinese fled the country. They braved the high tides and pirates to come to Southeast Asia and it became a humanitarian crisis as countries had to set up refugee camps to house these people. It is times like this when you are reminded as to how lucky we are to be born in Singapore.
NJ told me a funny story. She managed to travel back to Vietnam in the early 90's to see how the country was doing. She went to Hue (an old royal capital city somewhere in central Vietnam). In the early 90's, Hue was still the archetypical backward city with no proper electricity and night entertainment. NJ was thus surprised to see many people streaming towards a school. Curious, NJ followed and realised that throngs of people were crowding around waiting to watch a movie. So NJ paid like less than a US$0.20 dollar for a ticket. She also got herself a massive tub of ice-cream complimentary which came with a ticket (now that's cool). So, let's recap. NJ was in
(a) a run-down school hall in old Hue City in communist Vietnam;
(b) surrounded by hundreds of Vietnamese who can't speak English;
(c) holding a stubby cinema ticket and a large tub of ice-cream; and
(d) waiting to see a movie on a flickering projector.
So guess what movie they were showing?
PRETTY WOMAN.
This was in Communist Vietnam and the Viet Congs fought a war with the US and they were showing Pretty Woman? And the funny thing was that Pretty Woman was dubbed in Vietnamese. BY THE SAME PERSON.
So the same person was playing both Richard Gere and Julia Robert's parts in Vietnamese. One minute, he was speaking Richard Gere's part in a manly, low baritone voice and the next, he was squeaking trying to imitate Julia Robert's sexy voice. Poor, overworked bastard. I wonder how did he say "Slippery little sucker" in Julia Robert's voice in Vietnamese? NJ was practically trying to control herself from laughing. Apparently, the whole Vietnamese crowd was so into the movie, you could hear a pin drop.
God bless American movies. The US army might have lost the Vietnam War but Pretty Woman finished the job for them.
WE DON’T LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS FOOTBALL. HA HA HA!
Seriously, guys wait on their girls like manservants (aka male bitches) for four years and when they wanted to take some time off to watch the only sport they like with their old friends from the Army/JC/University, girls start to bitch about the lack of attention? Attention whores, all of them. Wait till England vs Brazil comes around. You girls won't be able to get your guys to save you from a burning house.
"Help, the house is burning!"
"Hmmm, later lah, honey. Stupid Owen just hit the bar. Wah lau eh!"
Oh, and here's one important tip for girls. You should not be mad if your guy asked to watch football with his buddies. In fact, be happy. You should instead be concerned if your guy DOES NOT and show zero interest in football. You know what they say about guys who don't watch football and enjoy taking long walks in the evenings? Can you say BROKEBACK?
Done laughing. Time to watch World Cup. Here's an entry I wrote recently when my New Zealander friend visited me.
VIETNAM IN THE 90'S
My New Zealander friend (let's call her NJ) is a Chinese born in New Zealand. She works for the UN and thus has to go around the world to problem spots. Her first assignment was in Hongkong to manage the Vietnamese boat people who landed in Hong Kong in the 80's. It was of course, an emotional time. For those not aware of the historical background of the boat people, this is CO's brief history lesson. In 1979, Vietnam fought a war with China and many Vietnamese Chinese fled the country. They braved the high tides and pirates to come to Southeast Asia and it became a humanitarian crisis as countries had to set up refugee camps to house these people. It is times like this when you are reminded as to how lucky we are to be born in Singapore.
NJ told me a funny story. She managed to travel back to Vietnam in the early 90's to see how the country was doing. She went to Hue (an old royal capital city somewhere in central Vietnam). In the early 90's, Hue was still the archetypical backward city with no proper electricity and night entertainment. NJ was thus surprised to see many people streaming towards a school. Curious, NJ followed and realised that throngs of people were crowding around waiting to watch a movie. So NJ paid like less than a US$0.20 dollar for a ticket. She also got herself a massive tub of ice-cream complimentary which came with a ticket (now that's cool). So, let's recap. NJ was in
(a) a run-down school hall in old Hue City in communist Vietnam;
(b) surrounded by hundreds of Vietnamese who can't speak English;
(c) holding a stubby cinema ticket and a large tub of ice-cream; and
(d) waiting to see a movie on a flickering projector.
So guess what movie they were showing?
PRETTY WOMAN.
This was in Communist Vietnam and the Viet Congs fought a war with the US and they were showing Pretty Woman? And the funny thing was that Pretty Woman was dubbed in Vietnamese. BY THE SAME PERSON.
So the same person was playing both Richard Gere and Julia Robert's parts in Vietnamese. One minute, he was speaking Richard Gere's part in a manly, low baritone voice and the next, he was squeaking trying to imitate Julia Robert's sexy voice. Poor, overworked bastard. I wonder how did he say "Slippery little sucker" in Julia Robert's voice in Vietnamese? NJ was practically trying to control herself from laughing. Apparently, the whole Vietnamese crowd was so into the movie, you could hear a pin drop.
God bless American movies. The US army might have lost the Vietnam War but Pretty Woman finished the job for them.
posted by Captain Obvious at 9:32 PM
1 Comments:
Ha ha... I don't know how I miss this entry. But it is educational yet funny... was telling my collegue about it.
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