Project Superdumbass

I was reading an online interview in the TNP (last Friday's edition, I think) with Project Superstar finalist HJY before my laptop went kaput and shut down for good. Apparently HJY is this guy who rose to fame in this show in Singapore called Project Superstar. I don't know exactly what Project SS does but if this guy made it to the finals, I am assured that it can only be another cringe-worthy TV show on par with VR Man (Take heart, James Lye. We cry with you).

I do not blame my laptop. HJY's responses were so stupid that CO's laptop decided that it no longer could stand the sheer shockwave of dumbness and committed technocide by voluntary disconnection. I am not making this up. My IBM X31 laptop is currently inoperational.

(Poser king who thought there are unicorns in LOTR giving a thumbs up to besotted girl fans. Don't you hate posers who do the thumbs up signs?)

In case you didn't read the TNP, HJY said that he was inspired to name his new album Unicorn because of Lord of the Rings. CO's alarm went off immediately because guess what bitches? THERE ARE NO F-KING UNICORNS IN THE LOTR.

So in the spirit of making fun of dumbasses and posers, I will do a parody of TNP's interview into what CO would ask Prince Charming HJY.

- - - - -

CO : Good morning, Mr HJY.

HJY : Good morning, CO.

CO : There is no need to repeat after me.

HJY : Oh, sorry. It is just that I have no opinion.

CO : I figure. Now let's get on with the interview. You have a new album called Unicorn. The obvious question is why did you name it "Unicorn"?

HJY : I was inspired by Lord of the Rings - one of the greatest fantasy movie of all time. I was really touched . . .

CO : Excuse me. Did you say LOTR?

HJY : Yes.

CO : There are no unicorns in the LOTR books or movies.

HJY : No?

CO : There are lots of normal horses, eagles, Nazguls, giant elephants and even an army of walking trees. But no horses with horns on their foreheads.

HJY : No unicorns?

CO : Nope. You are bullshitting, aren't you?

HJY : Uh . . .

CO : (Sigh) I will be nice and help you out, you tongue-tied bastard. You are actually thinking of Narnia, right?

HJY : Uh. . . (public relations guy passed Hong a piece of paper). No I wasn't bullshitting or thinking of Narnia. Well, I was actually inspired by Gandalf's (the wizard, played by Ian McKellen) resurrection, because it represents an unfading energy.

CO : What has Gandalf's resurrection and "unfading energy" got to do with unicorns?

HJY : Ah ha! After he got resurrected, he rode to see the Rohan king on a unicorn! The magnificent creature carried Gandalf with great speed and such grace . . . .

CO : Shadowfax is a great white horse. Not a unicorn.

HJY : No, it is a unicorn.

CO : White horse. Granted, it is the king of horses. But do you see a f-king horn on its head?

HJY : (major panic) Oh. Ahh. (Public relations guy whispered something in his ears). But like the unicorn, I seem to be aloof but am full of passion on the inside.

CO : So it is has nothing to do with LOTR or Gandalf's resurrection or even Narnia?

HJY : (in a small voice) uh . no.

CO : Man, you are a stupid poser. Despite that, I understand that besotted girls are calling you Prince Charming after your rise to fame in this Project Superstar show. So what now for Prince Charming?

HJY : I think it's good that I can influence people in a positive way. I hope to be able to inspire people.

CO : Inspire people by not being able to tell a horse from a mythical unicorn or inspire people not to imitate your poser smile?

HJY : Uh . . I also plan to continue dabbling in acting and hosting. I'm not the sort of person to stay away from something.

CO : Why don’t you stay away from making stupid statements for a start?

HJY : Uh, Ok.

CO : Thank you for your time. Oh, have you heard of CO's scale for beauty/ugliness, 1 being the most beautiful (Kelly Hu) and 10 being the most ugly (Sadako)?

HJY : No. Am I on it?

CO : After this interview, you are. Congratulations, you are No. 8!

HJY : Woo-Hoo! High score!