A Lao guy just won 575,250 GBP! NOT

Returning from a harrowing breakfast when I contemplated hanging myelf from getting a primary school-level English question wrong, one of the Lao people I know came to me with yet another query which blew my senses away. If my days are traffic accidents, today would be like a train wreck.

Apparently, his father has received the following email and was so excited that he was about to reply to it. He asked me for advice on the authencity of the email as he suspected that the email is not well, truthful (understatement of the century). Check this shit out.

- - - - -

THE LOTTERY COORDINATOR,
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT,
COCA-COLA LOTTERY PROMOTION.

Dear Prize Winner,

COCA-COLA LOTTERY PROMOTION, wishes to inform you of the results of its Promotional draws held on the 27th of July, 2006 as part of our mid Year splash. We are happy to officially inform you that you have emerged a winner under our Third Category Draws.

You have consequently been awarded a lump sum pay out of £575,250 (Five Hundred And Seventy Five Thousand Two Hundred And Fifty Great Britain Pounds Sterling) in
cash, which is the winning payout for Third Category winners. This is from the total prize money of £2,876,250 shared between 8 international winners in the category.

(i) Winning Numbers: 09, 12, 22, 39, 40, 49, (05)
(ii) Ticket Number: 44-8201-093
(iii) File Reference Number: BLP20-147-1
(iv) Lotto Batch Number: A14736
Please contact your claims agent immediately.

Find below all contact details;

MR.JOHN WOODBRIDGE,
PAYMENT OFFICER,
COCA-COLA LOTTERY PROMOTION
PHONE: +44-703-1870-646
Email: paymentofficer@katamail.com

For easy reference and identification, your lotto
payment order details stated above must be provided to
your claims agent.

Congratulations once again from all our staff and thank
you for being part of our promotions program.

Sincerely,

MR.PETER SMITH,
LOTTERY COORDINATOR,
COCA-COLA LOTTERY PROMOTION
8 CHANCEL ST.
LONDON, SE1 0UX

Please do not reply to this email. Contact your claims
agent Mr.John Woodbridge as specified above. (TERMS AND
CONDITIONS APPLY).

- - - - -

Oooh, Coca-Cola lottery promotion is going to give out an 575,250 GBP (Great Britain Pounds) to some Lao guy. Why? No reason - simply because Coca Cola is rich I guess. All you have to do is to contact you payment officer, Mr John Woodbridge at paymentofficer@katamail.com.

You know, you would think that Coca Cola could afford a decent email address for its payment officer instead of getting katamail.com which is based in Nigeria. But hey, I guess it is only polite to give Mr John Woodbridge the benefit of the doubt right? Maybe he is staying in Nigeria handling the multi-million international lottery for Coca Cola (SNIGGER). And even though there is no such thing as international lottery, the email did not come from Coca-Cola and we are told to send a reply to an email account based in Nigeria. I have no problems at all. I have thus drafted the following email and told my Lao friend's father to send it back to Mr John Woodbridge to claim his "prize".

- - - - -

Dear Mr John Woodbridge,

I am so happy to hear that I won 575,250 GBP! My friend, Captain Obvious, was equally ectastic that a Lao guy could win more than a million USD from doing nothing and simply replying to an email account based in Nigeria. He said that you are possibly an African who is somehow managing an international lottery for Coca-Cola from a dingy slum in Lagos, Nigeria. CO said that it is entirely believable although we are still not entirely sure what is an international lottery and how it works. He also said that in Singapore, Woodbridge denotes a hospital for madmen.

CO also told me that a good deed should beckon another. I am thus writing to inform you that there is an oilfield in Laos which is on the verge of striking a rich oil pool! With just a nominal investment from you, I could guarantee a monthly payback of US$1 million for 10 years. Yes, monthly. What, you never head of an oilfield in Laos? I assure you that it is completely authentic. It is located in the remote mountaineous region of Borikhamxay where it is rumoured that dinosaurs fossils and UFO have been found deep in the sub-strata layers. These bones of dinosaurs and aliens have fossilised into a rich field of crude oil! In this age of booming oil prices, you are guaranteed riches beyond your dream. Maybe you can even quit your job as a lottery coordinator and prize officer for Coca-Cola. How much is Coca-Cola paying you to manage their international lottery anyway? Couple of Nigerian banana dollars?

I thus invite you to come to Borikhamxay to see the oilfield. You could then pass me my prize money also! What a bargain! Email me at laopricewinner@dumbass.com.

Waiting to hear from you. Don't let the good chance slips away!

bestest regards,
Mr Prize Winner

PS : Terms and conditions apply. CO said that the term is that you must be a dumbass and conditions are that you must give me the money. Simple heh?

PPS : CO told me that he has also put in a welcome virus in this email I am sending to you. By the time you read this far, he said that it would already been active. I am not sure what he meant, but I am sure that it is all good as CO is so handsome and smart. See you in Laos!

- - - - -

It is one thing to try to take advantage of cosmopolitan Singaporeans. It is another thing to try to swindle innocent Lao people who are new to this kind of scams in the internet world. It is sad to hear that these Lao people are actually excited enough to contemplate replying to such a bogus scam email originating from Nigeria. God knows, how many Lao people might have been cheated. Death to internet swindlers from Africa and Eastern Europe. I hope they really come to Borikhamxay and see the oilfield. It would be great to see their faces.