Medieval Festival at Fort Tyron Park

NYC is a happening city. There are so many civil societies and clubs here in NYC that there is always something going on at every weekend. The calender of social events is packed to the rafters.

The past Sunday is the Medieval Festival. I was actually on my way to the Cloisters - a famous museum in Fort Tyron Park when I stumbled upon the annual Medieval Festival. I flipped my weekend paper; the Medieval Festival is actually one of the most famous event in NY every year. Once a year, people dressed up as medieval people e.g. knights, maidens, farmers, Robin Hood and his merry men, blacksmiths and set up booths selling shield, swords, flagons and giant turkey legs.

Medieval Festival Time!

Pavilions set up along both sides of the road in the park selling plastic swords, shields to kids. In addition, also there are lots of face painting and henna tatooing.

Some guy actually dressed up as a blacksmith and started beating pans and horseshoes.

Belly dancers from medieval times? Perhaps a legacy from the Ottoman Empire when they conquered Constantinople.

Some guy actually brought a barrel on a cart to sell beer to people. Awesome.

There was this guy that I met in the subway. He was all dressed up in helmet and he even brought along a bow and arrows. You can see him here, speaking to the dog "You foul beast! Run for thy life before I skewer you from 200 yards with my trusty longbow! Aaarrgh."

My camera gave up around here. Here are some pictures who look smoky like here. Kids running everywhere wearing armour and fighting each other with plastic swords.

This woman was dressed like like Xeena in her leather armour. Too bad my phone camera didn't do her justice. She was really hot.

For US$7, you get a massive, massive turkey leg grilled to perfection. People were working around chewing a turkey leg and drinking from a mug of beer. Beautiful.

This kid was knighting the other kid! Ho ho. I knight you with a butter knife, Sir Dumbass.

People were walking around as maidens. Fatty maidens though. Maybe too much bread and mead.

More kids fighting under a tree.

There is even a joust!!!! People on horses trying to knock each other down at high speed with lances! Yeah!!!

Nobody got knocked off. Damn. Guess it was too dangerous for some guy in full armour to get knocked off at breakneck speed.

Each knight got four wooden lances which broke into splinters immediately upon impact. The combatants immediately drew their swords and tried to beat the hell out of each other.

They then have a living chess fight. Where Robin Hood and his merry men fought the evil Sheriff of Nottingham.

The amazing thing is that everyone was absolutely serious and professional. Of course, the fights were all chereographed but everyone was trying their best. They even try to speak in old English. For example, before the joust, Sir Morgan was trying his best to insult the lineage of Lord Henry as was the old traditions.

Final picture of volunteers kicking hay around to make sure the knights don't break their necks in case they really got knocked off their horses.

Movie on the Plane - Cyborg She

I mentioned earlier that I watched three movies on the plane and two (Forbidden Kingdom and the Happening) pretty much suck to the point of eye scratching. I did not mention about the 3rd movie because I seriously could not decide whether it suck or not by the time I got off the lousy plane.

You see, at roughly 20 minute into the movie, I was so annoyed by the ho-hum plotline and inane Japanese dialogue that I wanted to switch off and just sleep the hell flight through. But since the other movies are sucky and I have slept enough, I decided to sit through it just a little bit more.

A little bit became an hour more, and so on until I finally finished it. When I stepped off the plane, I still had little opinion of it. But the crazy thing is that now I can't get it out of my head. Slowly and surely, the saccherine sweetness of the movie begins to seep in and leaving me with a nice, fuzzy sensation. I even downloaded the theme song into my Ipod. Yeah, crazy I know. I am not the type that enjoys chick flicks and sappy Jap and Korea movies.

The movie is directed by the same guy who directed "My Sassy Girl". So basically you can guess the plotline - just substitute the crazy girl in "My Sassy Girl" with a futuristic cyborg and you get "Cyborg She". The plotline is straight forward (or so it appears in the beginning). An old and crippled scientist in the future created a cyborg based on the image of a mysterious girl he met a long time ago and send her back into the past to save his young self from all the disasters that befall him and also right the wrongs that he could recall e.g. save a boy from being crushed by a bus etc. The usual jokes along the way, which are not funny at all.

Jokes aside, the movie's storyline has several twists which is extremely far fetched and straight-up ridiculous but now that I think about it, I can forgive and overlook most of its flaws. You see, the whole movie hinges on the question on whether the cyborg can love a man, being a machine and all. So for an hour, you will be asking yourself "can she feel love?" and "will they have a good ending?" and so on and so forth. You really can't help it since the key characters dominate the entire movie, so eventually you came to care for the boy and his cyborg.

The fake ending when it comes, is extremely predictable. But after I sit through to the true ending to learn the story twist, it leaves me with a 70% sweet and 30% bitter taste which is a pretty good way to end the movie.

This is one movie which you really must sit through to the very last line. All in all, this movie rewards patience. I will buy the original DVD so yeah, that shows you a lot. By the way, this movie will make Japanese men become more obsessed in anime robots than usual since with such a lovely and loyal cyborg, who needs real girls?

San Gennaro Festival

Every year, rowdy crowds descended on the narrow streets of Little Italy for carnival games, giant sausages, deep fried oreos (?!). The purpose is to salute the patron saint of Naples - San Gennaro. I happened to pass by the San Gennaro Festival on my way to Chinatown to get my weekly fix of Singapore food. The whole pack is packed to the rafters with Italians and tourists from all around the world.


There were so much food being sold that it is scary. Meat of all kind are being grilled; oysters are being shelled and eaten with tobasco sauce; and Oreos are being coated with flour and fried. Absolutely arteries clogging. I think one deep fried Oreo contained enough cholestrol, fat and sugar to kill any old person above 60.


Classic Italian ring sausages.

These Italians are just throwing meat on rotating grills which are heated over wood fire.

Lots of policeman everywhere making sure nothing gets out of hand.

This clown was damn funny. Basically, his job is to throw insults at people and make them pay money to throw balls at a small hole in the wall; once hit, the clown will drop into a pool of water. He make fun of those who are fat, short and also those with funny hair. Needless to say, many people paid US$10 just to get 5 balls to try to hit him.

Day out of New York City

It was such a rainy day on Friday that all I wanted to do was to curl up in bed, bury myself underneath all the pillows and comforter and just sleep through the whole day. But since I still need the job, I have to drag myself out of bed, climb into a suit and walk to work in the rain with the rest of NYY's grumpy population.

NYC is a dog city. The people here love dogs and it is a common sight to see a woman walking her nicely manicured dog with a poo-bag in hand just in case the dog decided to take a poo. If an army of aliens from Mars landed in New York as their first destination, they would speak to the dog instead of the human because the dog was clearly in charge. See this guy below shielding his dog with an umbrella. Unbelievable. I am not sure who is the pet here.


"Would you like a biscuit, master?"

I am not an animal lover. It doesn't mean I drown hamsters and kick squirrels for fun. It just does that I do not like to dodge dog poos on the pavement and don't think humans should pamper their pets to such an extent.

One of my friends decided to drive to Woodberry Commons on Saturday. They called me up at 8.10 am and asked me to run to the car rental company to rendezvous with the rest. Yawn. To make it worse, it is another cold and foggy day.

Woodbury Common Premium Outlets, is an outlet centre located in Central Valley in New York. Every single brand is here, except strangely LV. You name it, they are all here. Nike, Jimmy Choos, Kate Spade, Coach, Calvin Klein, Anna Klein, Timberland, Burberry, Benetton, French Connection, Gucci, Guess, Chico's, Cloe, Esprit . . . . whatever. The young intern girl from my office looked like she was in paradise / nirvana / some pink place with lots of Hello Kittys. Everything is at least 40% cheaper. An Calvin Klein suit is only US$199. Levi's jeans is only US$30. Amazing.

I would have been happy but I have a problem.

My visit to Woodberry Commons make me realise that Americans are fat and with stumpy legs. Because I can't wear any shit off the rack. None of the Calvin Klein shirts fit me. The smallest suits there barely fit me right. Every suit there seems to be designed for a whale. Size 48 for a suit?? Why doesn't the person just wear a gunny sack over his body? And when I find a suit that finally fits me after 4 hours of searching (from Zegna), the smallest pant that goes with the suit is like 3 sizes too big. And when the pant and suit fits, the pant is two inches too short. I think the designers have fat dwarves in mind when making their clotes. Bloody hell. It only reaffirms my belief that I can only get tailored clothes.

So I ended up buying just one pair of shoe, which is admittedly a wonderful pair of shoes from Cole Haan which costs only US$99.

People are mad about coach bags. Queue outside just to go in an see.

While some people will see this as nirvana, I don't think I am coming here any time soon since I can't find shit to wear.

Annual Protests in NY

Every year when the United Nations held its annual meetings from September to December, civil groups will hold protests outside the UN Building. It is a great time for protests because many heads of government/state will come to the UN to give their speeches. Not only that, the UN agencies have many famous figures as their ambassadors. For example, Angeline Jolie is the ambassador for UNHCR, U2's Bono is heavily involved in helping Africa and Bill Gates himself is often invited by the UN agencies to give speeches because he is the head of Gates Foundation - a key philanthropic organisation which gives fund to help the poor and needy.

So if you have a bone to pick with Angeline Jolie because you think Jolie sucks as Lara Croft in Tomb Raider ("Cradle of Life" is eye-scratching bad); or you think U2's music blows and has not had a proper hit since "With or without you" (which is true by the way); or if you have a BIG PROBLEM with Microsoft Windows and think the Microsoft Word Paper Clip that appears every time you types a document is bloody annoying, you just bring a board to outside the UN and protests against Jolie/Bono/Bill Gates and any president/pm/ministers that you like. I know I feel like carrying a board that says "Microsoft Vista must die" everytime my PC crashes on me.

Below are just some of the usual protests. The NYPD actually allows tourists to walk around and take photos:

It is never a dull day in NY. Crazies, anti-crazies and the anti-anti-crazies. Besides the annual protests, there are also lots of religious crazies walking around parks and in the subway. I met one quite funny religious crazie in the train that kept yellig at a woman for wearing a low cut-shirt that shows off her ample bosom. Funny.

NYU and Greenwich Village

I found a Singaporean restaurant in Chinatown. I was ectastic when I saw the menu - Hainanese Chicken Rice, Seafood horfun and fried kway teow. At this point, I eat anything that involves the usage of chopsticks. The food is nothing awesome - the rice only has a tinge of pandan leaves and chicken oil but it is comfort food for the weekend.

There are lots of fat people walking around in NY though. Some of the shops sell absolutely the most arteries-clogging food. I am not talking about the usual fastfood restaurants but it is still worth mentioning that NY got the entire galaxy of fast food from the usual Macs/KFC, Subways to Wendy's and Goodburgers. And then there are some shops that sell popcorn like below.

The woman in the picture looks like she is afraid the fat black man is going to eat her for a snack. With butter and popcorn. Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum! Lunch!

The next day, I made a trip to Greenwich Village on the way to take a look at New York University. Greenwich Village is apparently the home to Clavin Klein and Sarah Jessica Parker. Didn't see them at all. But given that it was the weekend, the place was absolutely mobbed by people who wanted to be in the in-crowd. This place is supposedly famous as the gathering place for creative artists, students from NYU and gays. And there are lots and lots of gays here. Apparently the 1969 gay revolutions started here. In 1969, when the police raided the gay hang-out Stonewall Inn, the drag queens in the area started a riot which started the movement.

In NY, especially on the weekends, there are always some street performances somewhere. There are always some buskers performing, some buskers are so elaborate that they have their own stages and equipment. Below is just a simple song and dance number by a group of black soul singers.

On weekends in Greenwich, there is always a street fair by residents of Greenwich or by students from nearby NYU. Food and trinkets are sold.

Near NYU, it is the famous West 4th Street Courts otherwise known as the "Cage". It is where people play basketball of course.

You may ask: what is the guy below doing? Picture is taken near the park off NYU. Apparently, some mother squirrel pushed her own babies outside a hole at the top of the tree. This guy actually picked up the babies and kept them in his sweater and climbed to the top of the tree, around 4-5 metres off the group and risked life and limb to place the babies back in the hole. Bloody heroic since he basically has to risk his life to save some animals. By the way, climbing trees is damn difficult. Why do you think Spiderman has to spin webs?

A picture of NYU. Didn't want to hang around since it does not look interesting at all. Maybe I will come back to check out the other buildings but it does not look like a modern educational institution at all. I think it is one of those schools where students play more than they study.