The Venetian and this thing called Little Nonya

Sidenote: Before I start, just a word about this Little Nonya garbage. I didn't watch a single episode and I already felt like kicking little nonya around, whoever she / he is. Seriously, that nonya actress is everywhere (I don't know her name at all). Doing some shitty commercial (I think it is some international buffet at some Sakurai restaurant), signing some more shitty autographs in some shopping centres in her nonya costume and worst of all, this Little Nonya end of production get-together on CNY. You would agree it is television drivel and garbage at the highest degree. They spent the whole hour patting each other on the back on a job well done and heaping praises on the uniqueness of the Nonya culture. It is like a sugary orgy of mutual/collective blowjobs. I was praying someone (like this badass looking bald guy in a corner) would whip out an axe and chop all the nonyas up, laugh manically into the camera and then ran away while the production crew started screaming.

And they interviewed some person on the street and she said, "oh, I am a nonya but I didn't know so much about my culture until I watch this show!" Like Mr T would say back in the 80's, "You Fool!" You are a disgrace to your own heritage, so shut up before you embarrass yourself further.

I didn't watch the Final Chapter. My guess is that it is father and mother of all methamphetamine hydrochloride aka trash. So no further comments are needed.

When I am free, I am going to call my friend who is the curator of the Nonya Museum in Singapore. Nobody knows nonya culture more than my friend who is hands down, the authority on this issue on this island. I am going to ask him what this bullshit show is all about.

Where was I? Ah, the Venetian. One of the most beautiful hotels in Vegas. It has exquisite architecture and is famous for its canals built to resemble the original at Venice.

There was even a boatman rowing the boat. Too bad the weather was so cold that no one wanted a ride on the boat.

The interior was like a palace.

Again, the ceiling was like a work of art. I wonder how long it took for the artists to paint the ceiling.
Nice.

The wonderful place that is Caesar Palace

When we were in Vegas, we hanged out and gambled at Caesar Palace. Why do we chose Caesar Palace? Quite simply, because of the Pussycat Dolls. A section of the casino in Caesar Palace was themed to match the Pussycat Dolls Nightclub and is called the Pussycat Dolls Casino. It features pole-dancing Pussycat Dolls and female dealers. So while you play, you get to watch pole-dancing pussycat dolls. You also get to be served free drinks. Yes, skimply dressed women walked around and served you free drinks. Beer, vodka, whisky and even Long Island Ice Tea. If this is not heaven, I don'k know what is.

Picture of Caesars Palace from the outside.

Everything is Roman theme. I threw a coin into this fountain for every friend I know to wish them good luck and fortune in 2009.

Casear Palace is not just hotel and casino. It has also a massive, massive mall.

The interior of the hotel / mall.

I love all these Roman statues / pillars.

And here is the casino. 10 million times more classy than what Genting can come up with. Our casino better be this good!

I love those ceilings which they have painted blue sky. It gives a very different atmosphere when you are playing. Never for a minute do you feel cramped and claustrophobic.

Check out the nice decor on the wall.

We enter the underground forum. Beautiful ceiling and statues everywhere.

A closer look of the ceiling which is designed to allow a stream of sunlight into the underground mall.

Look at the ceiling! We were indoor and underground but you feel outdoors, thanks to the sky-painted ceiling. Splendid.

A wider look of the "sky".

Every shop is designed with Roman architecture in mind.

And in the middle of the forum, a huge fountain with statues of Zeus and Poisedon.

And this fountain has its own special show with flames and watersprays. I kept missing the show though.

Classy.

Las Vegas

Ah, Vegas. I can spend hours talking about Las Vegas. But let's start right at the beginning.

The entertainment centre of the world needs no introduction really. I drove into Vegas in my snazzy yellow Ford Mustang (long story how we managed to rent a snazzy yellow Ford Mustang from Hertz), all the way from Los Angeles. It was a six hours drive and it was well late when we arrived in Las Vegas. From a distance on the dark highway, Vegas glowed like a sea of stars in the desert. The famous Strip was lined with spectacular casinos and hotels - truly a sight to behold. The hotels are not boring concrete blocks. Each hotel was an architecture marvel; the Venetian has its own canals to resemble that of Venice, Caesar's Palace was so huge and beautiful in its Roman architecture that you can spend the whole day wandering in its beautifully decked marble halls. The Paris' Effiel Tower stood tall and literally towered over everyone on the Strip. Excalibur was a massive English castle and Luxor had its Pyramids and Spinxes.

I checked into the Flamingo late at night. I wanted to stay in the Venetian but my friend was pretty cheapskate. So I decided to upgrade my room to a suite overlooking the Strip. It was brilliant.

Here is a photo of us walking in the Flamingo's garden compound.

No prizes for guessing what animals were wandering around the Flamingo's garden.

Checking in saw me walking in this strangely-coloured hotel corridor on the 26th floor.

My room. It only costs US$180 a night. It was well, well worth it.

My flat screen TV. No biggie, I know. But it comes with a stereo for your Ipod. So I just need to plug my Ipod in and viola, my favourite songs blasting in your room.

The bathroom comes with a glass standing shower and a bath tub. But I was especially impress with the TV in the bathroom. The TV was embedded in the bathroom mirror itself. I have stayed in many hotels but that was the first time I had a TV inside the bathroom mirror.

But the greatest thing is the view.

The Strip is the Orchard Road of Las Vegas. About 6.4 km, many of the famous hotels and casinos are on both sides of the Strip. Wiki said 18 of the World's 25 largest hotels are on the Strip. The most distinctive landmark on the Strip is the splendid musical fountain infront of the famous Bellagio hotel and casino. By the way, the Bellagio is the famous casino in Ocean Eleven.

The fountain is set in a nine-acre lake.
How's that for a photo?

No rest for the wicked

So I am in India now. Gujarat, India to be exact.



Shortly, after 48 hours touching down in Singapore from New York, I had to pack my bags for India for work. So, still nursing a bad cough which I picked up on my first day in Los Angeles two weeks ago, I had to step on a SIA plane for Gujarat, India. The food on SIA plane was outstandingly bad. Some roasted chicken breast thingy which truly upped the yuck factor.

Gujarat, India is quite possibly, the worst place for me. Gujarat is the only vegetarian and dry state in India. Majority of Gujaratis are staunch vegetarians due to the strong influence of religion. Note that it is a dry state not because it has little rain, but because it does not serve alcohol. The locals told me that it is to honor Mahatma Gandhi whose home was in Gujarat. So no meat and no alcohol. OMG. I am so damn hungry right now that the roasted chicken breast on SIA plane looked so good now. And I desperately need a drink. And I don't mean some drink made from urd.

Indian vegetarian food is the SUXX. I am not being impolite here. But given that I have been to India more times than I could count and had eaten all kinds of rubbish from many countries, I think I am entitled to my opinion on food. Firstly, because of the inconsistent rainfall in India, there are no leafy vegetables here. Seriously. No kangkong (which I thought grows everywhere), lettuce or cabbage. So you have long beans, cauliflowers and other tough vegetables that thrived on little moisture. I only eat leafy vegetables so double whammy for me.

Secondly, Indian vegetarian food destroys the vegetable. It throws so much oil, sugar and spices into the dish that you can't taste the vegetable. I dare anyone to tell me that he or she can taste the vegetable in Undhiyun (curry mixed vegetables) or Ringan nu Shaak. One taste the same as the other. And Indian vegetarian food is so fattening. So you can imagine my frsutration. The food sucks AND I still gain weight from eating these rubbish. I am reduced to eating a big breakfast (just bread and jam and cereal with cold milk) and just drinking water in the day.

I was brought to the best Gujarati restaurant in town to eat vegetarian food last night. The ambiene was nice; it was on the roof of a old colonial building. The restaurant was called Agarshiye and the locals praised it as the best vegetarian restaurant in Gujarat i.e. the whole vegetarian universe.

They poured gee into fulka roti before frying it quickly in flames.
The impressive array of Gujarati vegetarian food, all served on traditional tin platter.

My plate of beans, long bean and some cheese concoction which they told me was called meethi. Oh, the drink was not lassi. It was some "yogurt" drink called chaas and tastes salty. They favoured this milk with green chilies, ginger, coriander leaves and lemon. Sounds healthy? Don't bother. Many local Indians claim that it is healthy. Don't be fooled by the "yogurt" ingredient. They uses buttermilk and claim that it is yogurt.

I had Indian vegetarian food for two days and I am so, so hungry. I am tired half the time and worse still, I kept thinking of a steak.

What I wouldn't give now for a fat juciy Shack burger and a cold beer or vodka on the rocks. I had two of these burgers as my last meal in NY. Never regret it.

I will definitely start drinking on SIA plane back.

Back in Singapore . . . and it sucks

Before I start on the rubbish flight back to Singapore, there is a book that I am supposed to buy but missed buying it in the US. Published in 2005, it is almost prophetic in view of the current situation where you are bombarded by thousands of economic analysts telling you what is going to happen in 2009.

Author Philip Tetlock documents in his book “Expert Political Judgment: How Good Is It? How Can We Know?” that people who make prediction their business—people who appear as experts on television, get quoted in newspaper articles, advise governments and businesses, and participate in punditry roundtables—are no better than the rest of us. They rarely admit it when they are wrong in their predictions. They just insist that they are blindslided by an improbable event e.g. sub-prime crisis.

Conclusion : These experts are just as likely to be right in their predictions as a group of monkeys picking outcomes from a hat.

Which by the way, I sat down in front of my TV and watched Singapore programme for the first time in months. Channel U news was interviewing cab drivers and people on the streets on how the recession was hurting them. Some flower seller said that sales had been down 10%. The same goes for the cab driver with regards to the passengers that he had been picking up. All I can think of is: good. We don't need so many cabs on the road and flowers around anywhere. I never really understand the purpose of such interviews. Is it meant to make me feel good that I have a job and that some people are worse off than me? Is it meant to frighten me into keeping a tight string around my purse? My guess is that all this negative programming is to deepen the gloom and doom which makes it easier for the public to accept the bad economic indicators that the government is going to roll out in January for the budget. The public may also be more appreciative of any help that the government doles out.

Oh, the flight.

The 20+ flight from NY on Singapore Airline was harrowing. Some years back, I was one of SQ's biggest fan but the standard nowadays has dropped somewhere between mediocre and WTF-is-going-on. SQ used to have the best planes around. When SQ rolls out the individual passenger's screen thing, it was like WOW. Now every airline had the same facilities and in fact better. When I took Virgin America to LA, I can order free drinks on my modern touch screen. Just touch a few buttons and the gay steward comes back with a hot tea. Great! Now SQ plane is old and its facilities are antiquated. And the food. OMG, SQ food has clearly gone down the tube. I didn't even bother to take any pictures since they looked like a mess. Braised chicken and steam rice for dinner was as bad as it sounded. Yee foo noodles and minced beef for breakfast (yay, breakfast) was even worse than anyone could anticipate.

On a brighter note, I like this picture taken of me by my friend when I was looking at the Grand Canyon near Las Vegas. It will be my profile pic.

My friend said that the streak in the sky looked like the Silver Surfer coming to Earth to herald the coming of Galactus and inter alia, the end of the world. I looked like a superhero thinking what to do about it e.g. stop the Surfer or just go for a drink and welcome the end of the world.

Leaving on a jet plane

Departing from New York back to Singapore in couple of hours time. Spent the last couple of hours walking down the familiar streets which I traversed daily in rain and snow. My favourite bartender poured me a grey goose on the rocks for my farewell drink. Shopping in Times Square for souvenirs.

I will miss this place. Maybe I can make it an annual thing to come to New York for the winter. But it wouldn't be the same really. Like all trips, it is not the place but the company that one had when travelling.

2009 in San Francisco

Celebrated the countdown to 2009 in San Francisco.

First thing first, 2009 is gonna suck. I can feel it already in my bones. Sure enough, analysts are predicting a negative 2% growth for Singapore in 2009. What a nice way to kick off 2009!

Second, I spent the countdown in 2009 sick in a crummy room in San Francisco. After the splendid room I had in the Flamingo, Las Vegas, this room was the dump. It didn't help that I had a really bad sore throat and a blocked nose. And the fact that I almost killed myself three times driving between Las Vegas and San Francisco. Add to my misery, the crummy room in Cathedral Hills Hotel in San Francisco was practically falling apart. Bah.

To make things worse, I had the cheapest and nastiest dim sum buffet lunch in Chinatown, San Francisco. That is what you get for US$5. Haw Gous that consisted 90% of floor. Cold, stiff chicken. Super salty spring rolls. Deep, fried pan dumplings and all the oily chow mein that a white man can eat. This restaurant is not getting any michelin star soon!

Nastiest buffet in the universe.

About the 2009 countdown. Remember what I said about LA having the most number of homeless? I take it all back. Hell, I eat my words with oily chow mein. There are more homeless in San Francisco than anyway in the US. You may ask how the heck do I know and show you the evidence. My reposte will be that I spent the 2009 New Year Countdown in San Francisco and all the homeless were all out on the streets. ALL the hobos. There were so many hobos that the homeless had their own New Year Party right enough of the San Francisco City Centre.

Nice party at City Hall with all the disco lights in the sky. But what is in front?

Have you ever seen a homeless New Year Party? It is an amazing sight and I shall never forget this. In a city crawling with beatiful women in mini-skirts and flashy jewellery, there were thousands of hobos lying on grass lawns dead-drunk and their dogs running all around the place. Hobos were grilling strange meat and using dustbin covers as plates.

Hobo's 2009 New Year countdown. Whole place smelled of filth and pee and dogs running everywhere. Disturbing.

During the whole night, the city streets were swamped with people from all walks of life. Loud, black man dressed in stereotypes rapper shirts and baseball jerseys. Chinese boys trying to be "black" and ended up looking like douchebags (let me just say that asians trying to be "black" are human trash. If my son comes back dressed like a black rapper and all the bling-bling, I will kill him). Young girls dressed up in dresses too short to be described as dresses really. Beautiful women going to parties in their glitzy skirts. And of course, more people vomitting on the streets than I can count. People throwing water bottles at police. I even saw a black man arrested by the police. He lost his shirt in the scuffle but managed to flash a smile at his friends.

Oh, and the countdown itself. I saw the fireworks at Pier 1.

On my left is a pair of gay young asian boys hugging each other tightly. They looked disgusting. Before I am accused of homophobia, let's just say that one of the young gay guy was trying to sport a moustache. I contemplated pushing them into the water on the pretext of celebrating 2009.

Happy 2009.