A break from slamming LV - Trip to Vang Vieng

Unfortunate visitors to this blog (how the hell you arrive here?) will no doubt have the impression that I am a sad and bitter man who has no money to buy LV and spend his days in front of the computer complaining about rich people and stuff which he could not afford to buy.

The truth is . . . Hmm, actually the above visual picture looks right.

But even sad and bitter people have some fun now and then. Now it is not easy doing so in Laos of course where the usual amenitites associated with city life are missing. The locals' thinking of nightlife usually consist of family and friends get-togethers downing copious amount of alcohol in the process. The Lao produced their own version of rice wine called Lao Lao, which alcohol content is way above 50% and I could actually use it to wash my car. Powerful stuff.

Some of the fun that you could have here requires you to travel outside the city to visit harder-to-reach places. I went on a three-hour drive over the weekend to Vang Vieng, a town which raison d'etre is to serve foreigners, specifically backpackers travelling on a shoe string budget.

(Your proverbial village by the river against the backdrop of mountains)

Vang Vieng is a well kept secret in the global backpackers' community. The town is scenic and set on a river bank (Nam Song river), and it has a long mostly unused airfield runway parallel to it. It is known for its beautiful sunsets, pink skys over a mountain horizon, and lazy river tubing. Food and accomodation (guesthouses) are dirt cheap. A backpacker I met stayed at this guesthouse for US$2 a day and he had been up here for a month. What you could do:

a) Walk out to the nearby caves
b) Lay by the river on plastic mats and drink Beer Lao
c) Tubing down the river. U$3.50 includes ride to start point. Dry bag U$1.
d) Kayaking the river (about US$6)

Being a backpackers' paradise, it has the look of a cowboy's town i.e. it reeks of lawlessness. Afterall, this town is where "Air America" did their secret gun and drug dealings with the Hmong people during the Vietnam War. It is also a well kept secret that cheap drugs are available here. Former travellers have reported that it costs US$3 for one bag of Marijuana, U$5 per bag of opium and US$5 bag of 'Jah-Bah' (Literally 'Crazy Drug' - Meth Amphetamine).

So you get tons of scruffy backpackers looking suspiciously stoned and walking around confused as well as in many cases, half naked. Check out the following scruffy dude and his girlfriend who almost walked straight into my car. WTF. And these are considered the good looking ones.

Screw the drugs and legions of scruffy backpackers. I am here to do kayaking.

(Your standard evening shot)

Kayaking down the Nam Song river takes about 3 hours. Rapids are slow and you just have to be careful not to capsize in the shallow rocky parts of the river where you might get a nasty bump. There are even many beer stops along the river where you can buy a can of Lao beer for US$0.80 and a "cigarette" for a US$1.

The kayaking is relaxing and gives many locals the chance to oggle at skimpily dressed foreigners which are lazing on tubes (rubber tyres) and getting drunk.

Ok, you see the pretty girl (right picture) on the tube who looked so happy and jolly? Shortly after waving her hands at my camera, she showed me her middle finger and vomitted into the river. Real classy. Biatch.

I spent the Saturday night watching soccer in a real crummy joint with backpackers. It was Manchester City vs Manchester United. Bad decision. United was down 0-2 by halftime, Ronaldo got sent off and we lost eventually 1-3. To make matters worse, this dumb Lao guy kept yelling "Saam sung" (i.e. 3-0) whenever City launched an attack at the United goal. I mean, get drunk elsewhere already. To compound a worse night, the food blows. Never order honey baked chicken in Vang Vieng.

(Lots of these places for foreigners who are contented to just lay there and watch TV)