Brillant revelations from "brilliant" scientists - Ha Ha
I almost spilled my coffee when I read the newspaper today. Xinhua news reported that "getting out of bed in the morning may be the most dangerous move you make all day, a new US medical study has found". I panicked and thought "oh no, I should have stayed in bed. Damn, waking up is dangerous!". I promptly off my computer and fell asleep at my desk to avoid any more life-threatening dangers.
On closer inspection, according to researchers at the University of Colorado, their "research" showed that when a person woke up, short-term memory, counting skills and cognitive abilities were impaired during the groggy period. Dr Wright said that "it takes some time until we are able to be efficent in our ability to make decisions and think clearly during sleep inertia".
Everybody repeat after me " DUH". These scientists waste millions of dollars on "scientific research" just to tell us that we would be groggy after waking up? And we should be careful not to trip and bump our head when we are groggy? Wow, thanks brilliant scientists! In all my years, I could never, ever realise that I would be a bit blurred when I first opened my eyes after a nap. Calling it a fancy name "sleep inertia" doesn't make your "discovery" brilliant. Go research something useful like a cure for sleepwalking or cancer already. Dumbasses.
And to add scientific insult to injury, Dr Wright said (probably with a straight face since he squandered every research dollar on something inconsequential like this) that "the serious effects are probably gone within 10 minutes (of waking up)". WOW, that is AWESOME discovery! I would stop being blur after 10 minutes of waking up? Nooo . . You think?
Journal of American Medical Association (JAMA) must be pretty desperate to publish this sort of rubbish in its journal. They might as well publish an article on how a person could gain more weight eating chocolates than a starving Ethiopian kid who has only tree bark for meals. I can just imagine how the editors' meeting went when deciding what to put up for that month's issue.
Chief Editor : We have a deadline by 3 pm today. What articles could we put inside the journal? SCIENCE has an article on a South Korean scientist completing the DNA mapping of human stem cells (Ha Ha). What do we have by 3 pm to rival it?
Editor A : I got one! We have a new finding from Thailand's medical science department that a new drug called SH Instant which combines three medicinal herbs from China and two from Thailand can strengthen the immune systems of people with HIV and help control the virus! It is the result of a six-year, 80 million baht (US$2 million) research project. 40 out of 60 patients taking the drug fared better than the other 20! (This is true by the way)
Chief Editor : Who will read that sort of rubbish such as getting a cure for HIV? Stop giving dumbass ideas. I want a cutting edge scientific issue that will make everybody sit up and take notice! A scientific finding that will rival stem cell discovery!
Chief Editor's dumbass son : Uh . . . . How about publishing a report which every dumbasses in the world already knows? That a person will be groggy after waking up?
Chief Editor : That's my boy! Brilliant!
I can't stand "brilliant" scientists and their supposedly "discoveries". On one end of the spectrum, we know now that some are probably faking their research findings. South Korean scientist Dr Hwang Woo Suk, previously known as"Supreme Scientist" fabricated two papers on stem-cell research and disgraced his country and people. On the other end, we have Dr Wright telling us things we already know.
Isn't it amazing at what these people can get away with?
On closer inspection, according to researchers at the University of Colorado, their "research" showed that when a person woke up, short-term memory, counting skills and cognitive abilities were impaired during the groggy period. Dr Wright said that "it takes some time until we are able to be efficent in our ability to make decisions and think clearly during sleep inertia".
Everybody repeat after me " DUH". These scientists waste millions of dollars on "scientific research" just to tell us that we would be groggy after waking up? And we should be careful not to trip and bump our head when we are groggy? Wow, thanks brilliant scientists! In all my years, I could never, ever realise that I would be a bit blurred when I first opened my eyes after a nap. Calling it a fancy name "sleep inertia" doesn't make your "discovery" brilliant. Go research something useful like a cure for sleepwalking or cancer already. Dumbasses.
And to add scientific insult to injury, Dr Wright said (probably with a straight face since he squandered every research dollar on something inconsequential like this) that "the serious effects are probably gone within 10 minutes (of waking up)". WOW, that is AWESOME discovery! I would stop being blur after 10 minutes of waking up? Nooo . . You think?
Journal of American Medical Association (JAMA) must be pretty desperate to publish this sort of rubbish in its journal. They might as well publish an article on how a person could gain more weight eating chocolates than a starving Ethiopian kid who has only tree bark for meals. I can just imagine how the editors' meeting went when deciding what to put up for that month's issue.
Chief Editor : We have a deadline by 3 pm today. What articles could we put inside the journal? SCIENCE has an article on a South Korean scientist completing the DNA mapping of human stem cells (Ha Ha). What do we have by 3 pm to rival it?
Editor A : I got one! We have a new finding from Thailand's medical science department that a new drug called SH Instant which combines three medicinal herbs from China and two from Thailand can strengthen the immune systems of people with HIV and help control the virus! It is the result of a six-year, 80 million baht (US$2 million) research project. 40 out of 60 patients taking the drug fared better than the other 20! (This is true by the way)
Chief Editor : Who will read that sort of rubbish such as getting a cure for HIV? Stop giving dumbass ideas. I want a cutting edge scientific issue that will make everybody sit up and take notice! A scientific finding that will rival stem cell discovery!
Chief Editor's dumbass son : Uh . . . . How about publishing a report which every dumbasses in the world already knows? That a person will be groggy after waking up?
Chief Editor : That's my boy! Brilliant!
I can't stand "brilliant" scientists and their supposedly "discoveries". On one end of the spectrum, we know now that some are probably faking their research findings. South Korean scientist Dr Hwang Woo Suk, previously known as"Supreme Scientist" fabricated two papers on stem-cell research and disgraced his country and people. On the other end, we have Dr Wright telling us things we already know.
Isn't it amazing at what these people can get away with?
posted by Captain Obvious at 7:39 PM
1 Comments:
LOL....
With all that scientific terms, readers basically get confused and go "wow" at their findings.
How much is a scientist paid? That's where my children will be in future.
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