"Waking up kids later makes scientific sense" - No it doesn't, dumbass.
I have a busy day today but I just can't help noticing that some parents have written in to the ST Forum for schools to start later than 7.30 am to give more students more rest. One of the dumbass parent actually said "I would like to provide some scientific evidence to support the suggestion to start school later to allow school children sufficient sleep and rest".
Ooh, another brilliant scientific observation from a "well-informed" parent probably quoting from some dumbass scientific journal he accidentally picked up at Borders. The joy!
The "well-informed" parent wrote that "longitudinal studies found that tired students are likely to have impaired motivation and unintended sleep episodes".
You know, I wanted to barf when I read this. Confused as to what the hell he is trying to say? No worries. Facing this tidal wave of garbled syntex and confused metaphors, Captain Obvious shall don his armour of simple English and pick up his magical +1 axe of common sense and translate this gibberish for you.
Firstly, any smart ass that say "longitudinal studies" should be shot for being . . . well, a smart ass. Longitudinal studies basically meant a study of a group of people over time. Only smarty pants say such things to impress their dumbass girlfriends. Don't be intimidated by smart asses who quote this term out of some dusty scientific text. It is in fact more accurate to say "a study over x weeks or x period of time". Next time someone says "longitudinal studies prove this", just retort by saying "latitudinal studies proves otherwise leh". And see that dumbass shut the hell up and start scratching his head as to what are latitudinal studies.
Secondly, ". . . . students having unintended sleep episodes . . . ". You know, there is a simple English phrase for all this scientific shit. You can simply say students will start DOZING OFF, you dumbass. "Unintended sleep episodes". Yeah right. Where the hell you get this shit phrase from?
Thirdly, " . . . tired students are likely to have impaired motivation . . . " This one just make me want to scream. REALLY? YOU THINK? Do you need to pick up a scientific journal to actually come to this nobel prize winning conclusion? Tired students are less motivated? Wow, I never could tell. Dipshit.
Ah, but the "well-informed" parent does not start here even though he is showing his stupidity more and more in every paragraph. He concluded his scientific observation by saying "a recent study in a Minneapolis school district in the US reported that delaying high school start times from 7.15 am to 8.40 am gave students an hour more sleep per night and resulted in improved attendance rates".
So later starting times meant better attendance? Duh. Pardon my ignorance, but who the hell cares about better attendance? I want our god damn schools to deliver quality education to those who are are bothered and disciplined enough to turn up on time. If you want better attendance, why don't you ask schools to start at 11 am or 2 pm, dipshit? Ooh, and also no homework for the kids else the kids might have to go to bed late and not get their f** ten hours of nap so that they are in a better shape the next day. Weaklings.
I can't believe how pussy are the parents nowadays. Schools should continue to lock out students who are late or better still, fine their asses to the tune of US$100 a minute (like construction project liquidated damages except on a minute by minute basis) and then make their parents walk around with a placard on the parade square saying "I am a bad and lazy parent who does not have the balls to wake my kids up on time for school".
The dumbass parent signed off by saying "Give schoolchildren the opportunity to sleep, rest, dream and consequently learn better". Let Captain Obvious tell him a secret which perhaps was not passed down to him over the years. For many of my generation, we have been getting up at 6 am (for many, 5.30 am), drink a cup of milo and then walked to school in pitched darkness. Now that is discipline at a young age. We grow up okay. You want our kids to learn better? Use a damn stick. Preferably with a nail at the end of it.
Quit messing around with school starting times in the name of science and "better learning", dumbass.
Ooh, another brilliant scientific observation from a "well-informed" parent probably quoting from some dumbass scientific journal he accidentally picked up at Borders. The joy!
The "well-informed" parent wrote that "longitudinal studies found that tired students are likely to have impaired motivation and unintended sleep episodes".
You know, I wanted to barf when I read this. Confused as to what the hell he is trying to say? No worries. Facing this tidal wave of garbled syntex and confused metaphors, Captain Obvious shall don his armour of simple English and pick up his magical +1 axe of common sense and translate this gibberish for you.
Firstly, any smart ass that say "longitudinal studies" should be shot for being . . . well, a smart ass. Longitudinal studies basically meant a study of a group of people over time. Only smarty pants say such things to impress their dumbass girlfriends. Don't be intimidated by smart asses who quote this term out of some dusty scientific text. It is in fact more accurate to say "a study over x weeks or x period of time". Next time someone says "longitudinal studies prove this", just retort by saying "latitudinal studies proves otherwise leh". And see that dumbass shut the hell up and start scratching his head as to what are latitudinal studies.
Secondly, ". . . . students having unintended sleep episodes . . . ". You know, there is a simple English phrase for all this scientific shit. You can simply say students will start DOZING OFF, you dumbass. "Unintended sleep episodes". Yeah right. Where the hell you get this shit phrase from?
Thirdly, " . . . tired students are likely to have impaired motivation . . . " This one just make me want to scream. REALLY? YOU THINK? Do you need to pick up a scientific journal to actually come to this nobel prize winning conclusion? Tired students are less motivated? Wow, I never could tell. Dipshit.
Ah, but the "well-informed" parent does not start here even though he is showing his stupidity more and more in every paragraph. He concluded his scientific observation by saying "a recent study in a Minneapolis school district in the US reported that delaying high school start times from 7.15 am to 8.40 am gave students an hour more sleep per night and resulted in improved attendance rates".
So later starting times meant better attendance? Duh. Pardon my ignorance, but who the hell cares about better attendance? I want our god damn schools to deliver quality education to those who are are bothered and disciplined enough to turn up on time. If you want better attendance, why don't you ask schools to start at 11 am or 2 pm, dipshit? Ooh, and also no homework for the kids else the kids might have to go to bed late and not get their f** ten hours of nap so that they are in a better shape the next day. Weaklings.
I can't believe how pussy are the parents nowadays. Schools should continue to lock out students who are late or better still, fine their asses to the tune of US$100 a minute (like construction project liquidated damages except on a minute by minute basis) and then make their parents walk around with a placard on the parade square saying "I am a bad and lazy parent who does not have the balls to wake my kids up on time for school".
The dumbass parent signed off by saying "Give schoolchildren the opportunity to sleep, rest, dream and consequently learn better". Let Captain Obvious tell him a secret which perhaps was not passed down to him over the years. For many of my generation, we have been getting up at 6 am (for many, 5.30 am), drink a cup of milo and then walked to school in pitched darkness. Now that is discipline at a young age. We grow up okay. You want our kids to learn better? Use a damn stick. Preferably with a nail at the end of it.
Quit messing around with school starting times in the name of science and "better learning", dumbass.
posted by Captain Obvious at 2:13 AM
1 Comments:
maybe it is some research by teachers who needed more sleep?
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