Happy CNY

I like CNY celebrations as much as I like being robbed. I hate almost everything about CNY including the following:

(a) dazed smiling kids dressed in spanky red clothes which they wear once a year. Such kids could be recognised by the plastic smile they wear, permanently itched on their face from meeting the infinity+1 relatives they met (but never remembered their names);

(b) waay too many mandarin oranges being handed out. I hate oranges. If I want vitamin C, I will take a pill. Some of these oranges got traded around so much that they changed colour and sooner or later got handed back to you. Come on, let's not pretend. You mean, you eat all the oranges being given to you? Please. ;

(c) the colours of CNY are red, gold and boring.

(d) the same questions being repeated nth-infinity by your relatives (what's your job, how much you are earning, WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED and where is your spouse/girlfriend/mistress?)
Next time, when I am in town for CNY, I shall wear the below sign over my neck to all relatives' house:

I think it will be a hit in Singapore. The above is just a business draft for guys. I have another in mind for ladies who are forced to act as virtuous daughters during CNY and force to answer questions after questions from fat aunties and uncles along the line of "Work so hard for what, you poor thing you. 30+ and still not married". Try wearing the following placard over your neck:

I think these will sell well in Singapore.