Friday, February 24, 2006

Jan 1995 all over again - or is it?

Where were you and what were you doing in Jan 1995? Can you remember? A lot of things happened in Jan 1995. Austria, Finland and Sweden officially joined the EU. An earthquake, "the great Hanshin Earthquake" with a magnitude of 7.3 on the Richter scale rocked Kobe, Japan killing 6000+ people. The world was one step away from nuclear confrontation when Russian missile command mistook a rocket launched by the Norwegians to study the Northern Lights effect as a nuclear strike. Talked about an interesting month.

For yours truly, I was still serving in the Singapore Armed Forces, being yelled at by a fat master-sergeant and being so bored that looking at paint dry on the ceiling was like a day at Daytona Beach. In the army, it was area cleaning after toilet cleaning. And if you threw in really bad food cooked by disgruntled recruits whose sweat constantly dripped into the puddle of fishball soup or mutton curry (all Singaporean NS men know that all"meat" tastes like mutton in the army during the old days) and the common occurrence of finding stones in your withered and unrecognised vegetables, you would understand when I said that Jan 1995 was not exactly spring-break mecca for me. In Obvious translation, I wasn't exactly having fun.

This soon changed in an instant. In Jan 1995, I was minding my own business when a very short buddy came up to me, thrusted something into my hands and whispered "look at this, idiot". He then looked around in a conspiratory fashion, as if he was Austin Powers about to go to work on a bunch of Russian female agents. Normally, I would just kick his ass off my bed but this time he had a strange bright expression in his eyes which shifted from shades of excitement to borderline insanity. He looked really happy as if salvation was at hand. I looked with apprehension at the bundle you thrusted in my hands. In the Army, you never knew what strange shit people were up to. I have seen them all. From Jehovah's witnesses who refused to carry guns to people having undergone sex changes which made them ineligible for service.

The thing in my hand was a Newpaper edition.

For a minute, I thought that something major had happened. Perhaps a group of disgruntled NS recruits from 1st Guards or 6th SIR finally had enough of bad Army food and launched a full scale mutiny. Something like a Sepoy mutiny (Indian army rebellion in 1857) but to fight for food without stones in it and doesn't always taste like mutton. (God damn it, we want chicken that tastes like chicken! Not chicken that tastes like mutton or pork that looks like chicken but still tastes like mutton!) A whole new twist to the Guards' slogan of "Ready to Strike, Singapore Guards . . . but only to get proper food and better nightsnacks!" Maybe they even scrapped NS for all men! Amen!

But no. As I opened up the Newpaper, this was better. Much better.

"Singaporean girl Annabel Chong broke world record by having sex with 251 men in 10 hours".

I see you remember the name. Annabel Chong needs no introduction whether you are living in the East or West. While I avoid celebrity gossip like my master sergeant and I know many Singaporean girls simply detest the name of Annabel Chong (hell, I personally know girls who changed their English names from Annabel to just Ann after the news broke), I wanted to say something on the Annabel Chong Effect. And why the current NYP Tammy scandal got nothing on Annabel Chong. Tammy was a sad, dumb wuss compared to Annabel.

I knew now why my friend was so excited that day in Jan 1995 when the Annabel Chong news broke. Singaporean boys had been taught from a very young age that Singaporean girls are nice and decent. Kind, understanding girls who will grow up to be nurturing mothers. The kind of girls who will bring cold kittens in from the rain. Aww, shucks. But as time progressed, we boys began to have an uncomfortable feeling that someone was feeding us a big lie the size of your Enron scandal. We can't quite put out finger on it as to at which point we started thinking "Maybe, just maybe Singaporean girls are not as nice as they are made out to be". To make matters worse, I went to an all-boys secondary school so the myth of the perfect Singaporean girl went on strong for a long time. I should have gotten the hint during JC when oh, I don't know, WHEN THE JC CLASS SLUT STARTED HAVING MORE BOYFRIENDS THAN I GOT PENCILS". Still the fallacy persisted.

And the hundred year old fallacy was finally shattered by Annabel Chong. Shattered like a one ton demolition ball going through a poorly build house in Laos. U go girl! Decent Singaporean girls, my foot.

She was the first and boy, did all the Singaporean boys love her and the Singaporean girls hated her. If the porn industry was the Matrix, she would be known as "The One". For the record, Annabel did not have sex wih 251 men in 10 hours. She could only find 80+ men but had sex several times with the same man. The movie was called the "World's Greatest Gangbang" and all Singaporean boys went on a treasure hunt on the budding internet to get more details on:
(a) clips of the movie
(b) who Annabel was
(d) why she did it

I recalled doing some research on her years ago. To make things interesting, she came from Raffles Girls School and Hwa Chong JC. I repeat, RGS and HCJC - the elite among the elites. There goes the damn neighbourhood. She even gotten a scholarship to study law in London before she went slightly nutty and decided to go to University of Southern California to study photography and feminist studies. She acted in many classic porn movies and was one of the greatest porn stars of all time in the West.

Why do I say all this? Because some people were saying it was Jan 1995 all over again. Forgetful people are all saying how could a Singaporean girl be so bold to tape down her own sex acts. Why she could do all this? Decency standards lowered, blah blah.

Hello? Annabel Chong? "The One"? Whatever so called decency bars were lowered by Annabel in 1995 and NYP Tammy didn't break new grounds . The main difference was that at least Annabel was smart enough to get paid for it. I have zero sympathy, unlike the rest of the blogging community, for that dumbass NYP girl who taped down her own sex act and then lost her own handphone. She deserved everything she got by trying to audition for Singapore Porn Idol contest. Newsflash : Annabel won it hands down in 1995. Tammy got nothing on Annable. Pow! Take that, you stupid NYP girl.

For those who suddenly ask "By the way, Captain Obvious, what happen to Annabel Chong?" Well, Annabel was a smart cookie. She knew that she could not do porn movies all her life so she enrolled in PC web design classes (while she was still acting in porn movies) and was now a computer programmer. Yes, you hear me correctly. She is now a computer programmer and specialises in ASP and .NET with C#, Database Development and also does web designs for companies. I had more respect for Annabel than your average dumb NYP girls who lost her sex tape or your bubble head female blogger who try to earn money from her blog by advertising out space for dodgy chatlines and spent time writing badly.

1 Comments:

Blogger vanilla said...

Annabel Chong? That's a painful way to break records.

Once- shiok but anything more than 200 times in 10 hours is painful.

Not about morality but the pain to endure to break records-- worth it?

NYP? The whole story seemed very lame. I don't know what is the motive of her video clip. Don't tell me she can't guess who stole her phone and put those clips up?

Readers too are only interested to watch those clips, no one mentioned about the culprit.

6:09 PM  

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